Yesterday was a good day. I say that largely because Kate was in a cheerful mood. She was that way when she got up. As I have noted before, that doesn’t mean there was any improvement in her memory or confusion. When she appears to be so normal, I am still surprised when she says or does something that would be more characteristic of someone with dementia.
As she cheerfully got out of bed, she said matter of factly, “I don’t know my name.” We started to leave for lunch, and she asked my name and hers. She asked again as we walked from the car to the restaurant for lunch. She seemed perfectly alert and normal. There was no sign of frustration or anxiety. She just didn’t know our names and was matter of fact about acknowledging it.
At dinner, she said, “I want you to tell me what I would say that I want if you weren’t with me?” I told her there are two dishes that she likes and that she should ask for one of them. One is Tortelloni alla Stephania. The other is Tortelloni alla Panna. She tried to pronounce both names and did pretty well, but she wanted to get it right. She asked to see them on the menu. Then we practiced her saying both names several times. As we were doing this, our server walked to the table to take our order. She asked the server to help her say them. The server started to tell her the ingredients in each one. Kate was able to convey that she wanted to know how to pronounce the names. She practiced saying them several times. The server was new and didn’t know about Kate’s Alzheimer’s. I am sure she thought this was a bit strange. Ultimately, Kate was able to give the order herself.
My point is that Kate was unusually interested in knowing what she should do if I were not there to help her. I told her not to worry that I would always be with her, but she was obviously aware of how little she knows. It must have bothered her to think how she would order a meal if she were alone even though I could see no indication that she was disturbed. On the surface, her asking how to order her meal appeared to arise from an “intellectual” rather than an “emotional” basis. On a few occasions, she has also asked me how to get home after eating out. I have tried to tell her, but it is too complicated for her to understand or to remember.
The experience with the sitter yesterday also went well. The only sign that might suggest insecurity came as I left. She said, “You’re going to leave us?” I told her I would be back a little later. She was fine with that.
Last night she picked up a photo book of her father’s family. She spent at least an hour with it. She tried to go through it by herself. I gave her the chance to do that; however, she repeatedly had questions. I ended up standing by her chair as I watched the evening news. That way I could answer her questions as they came up and read sections of the text that she didn’t understand. She enjoyed looking at the pictures of her family. I look at her initiation of things like this as her way of trying to give herself a better sense of who she is. I am glad she has such a great collection of family photos. Working puzzles is entertaining, but the photos give her a better sense of herself and her place in her family.
