Another Good Day: Two Victories

It’s been a year and a half since I engaged the services of sitters for Kate. From the outset I was concerned about her accepting them. She surprised me by doing so immediately. She was never enthusiastic, however, just accepting. As she has become more dependent on me, she has seemed more reluctant for me to leave without her. Recently, she has enjoyed being with both sitters. That continued yesterday when Mary arrived.

When she came in, I was in the back of the house. I heard Kate greet her. A few minutes later, I walked in the family room. They were chatting. It looked just like Kate was talking with a neighbor who had dropped in to say hello. She did say, “Where are you going?” when I told her I was leaving, but she was perfectly at ease. There was no sign that she was bothered. As on several other occasions, I left feeling at ease myself.

When I walked in the house later, I heard Kate say, “Perfect timing.” It turned out that she and Mary had just returned from Panera. Kate told me they had had a good time.  I considered this another victory. It has been months since she has let the sitter take her to Panera in the afternoon. Prior to that it was a regular event. I hope this continues. Before Mary left, Kate said, “Have you ever seen her drive?” I told her I had only seen her drive in the driveway. Then she told me what a good driver Mary is. This is a consistent pattern for her. She regularly talks about well people do things. It’s one of the things I like about her.

Even after Mary was gone, she repeated they had a good time and how much she likes her. That was quite a victory. I couldn’t have had a better welcome home. I’ll feel much easier the next time I leave her. Even though I hadn’t spent much time with Kate earlier in the day, I was ready to say it was another good day. The rest of the day also went well.

Last night was pizza night. When we got home, she said, “What can I do now?” I suggested we go to the family room and that she could look at one of her family photo books, work jigsaw puzzles, or look at her “Memory Book,” the three-ring binder I had put together with information about our families and memories of our lives together. She started with the memory book while I watched the evening news. In a while, she picked up a history of her family’s church in Fort Worth. It was published in 2001 on the church’s 100th anniversary and had been a gift to her mother. It’s a book of over 200 pages with normal type (small for Kate).

As she went through it, she was thoroughly engaged although she had difficulty reading it. I was still impressed that she continued to work at it for about thirty minutes. She could not have done this before her cataract surgery. I should add that she also needed my help. I was seated on the sofa across from her. Every few minutes she would see a photo but couldn’t read the type indicating the person’s name. Sometimes she could read a heading but couldn’t read the text. She finally reached a section she wanted to read and asked me to read it for her. For another thirty minutes, I read to her. Her interest never waned, but I don’t believe it was because of the content per se. Some of the things I read were about people she didn’t know at all. There were also accounts of committees appointed to conduct a search for a new pastor or construct a new building, but it was her family’s church, the church in which she grew up. I was touched to see the pleasure she enjoyed looking through it.
That has to count as another good day.

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