Once again, Kate was quite confused yesterday morning. It seems like this is becoming a regular pattern. Let me repeat that forgetting where she is, what my name is, and that I am her husband are not new. Two things are different. First, it is becoming more typical than before. Second, it seems like she is in a deeper state of confusion. At least, that is the way I interpret her facial expressions as well as things she says. Yesterday she repeated her questions about my name, our relationship, and her name multiple times very close together as if she didn’t even hear me the first time (second time, etc.). She was apparently “feeling” a sense of confusion or disorientation that disturbs her. Normally, when she asks my name, she does so very naturally without any special emotion. She doesn’t seem disturbed at all.
I realize “disturbed” doesn’t provide a very precise way of telling you how she felt. I use it to convey a feeling that goes from only “mildly” disturbed to “seriously” disturbed. Last summer when I first saw her this way, she was “seriously” disturbed. What I saw yesterday morning was mild compared to that. It might be better described as “puzzled.” She knew something was wrong and couldn’t understand why, but she was not distressed. This was neither a panic nor an anxiety attack. The fact that I was able to relieve her discomfort so quickly is a good indication the situation was not as dire as it has or could have been.
She wanted to remain in bed, but I suggested that she might feel better if she got up. I told her she was often groggy when she wakes up but soon recovers. I also mentioned that she has photo books of family that I thought would help her. I had no trouble getting her up, but I needed to help her every step of the way. She was almost helpless. One notable exception occurred when I started to help her to a standing position beside the bed. She said, “I can do that myself.”
Once she had gone to the bathroom and dressed, I took her into the family room. I picked up the “Big Sister” album and showed her the cover picture. She smiled immediately and commented on the smiles of her and her brother. I asked if she knew who they were. She said, “He’s my brother. <pause> What’s his name?” I told her and said, “And who is that with him?” She said, “Me.” I directed her to the sofa and suggested we look through the book.
She opened the first page with the introduction to the book and started to read it. She struggled, so I read it to her. She continued to try to read it herself but asked me to help her with most of it. This is another case of knowing that her difficulty must be from her Alzheimer’s and not her actual vision. I would say she spent at least five minutes on that page. I reminded her that this was a gift her brother had made for her. She got tears in her eyes. She has looked at the book many times before. I don’t recall her getting that emotional and so quickly. At this point, the only photo she had seen was the cover picture.
When she turned the page, she was able to see photos spread across two pages. She must have spent ten minutes looking them. She revisited each picture several times. Almost every time she asked me to tell her who the people were.
As I suggested in a previous post, seeing the pictures didn’t improve her ability to remember names and faces, but it very quickly alleviated the “sense” of confusion. All of a sudden she was focused on the pictures, not on how she felt about not knowing where she was or who she was. It was obvious that she was getting a sense of connection to her family even if she was unable to consistently identify each person. She seemed to feel “grounded.”
The sitter came in while she was on the second page. I suggested to Kate that they look at the album together. She liked the idea. When I said I was about to leave for Rotary, Kate wanted me to stay. She somewhat grudgingly relented but without a fuss. I’m sure she was engrossed with her the pictures as soon as I was gone.
At 3:30, I had an appointment with my ophthalmologist, also Kate’s. I asked Cindy to meet me with Kate at the doctor’s office. That worked out well. From there we went home for a short break and then to dinner. Kate was doing perfectly fine. We closed out the day at home watching a YouTube video of a BBC PROMS concert celebrating the music of Rogers and Hammerstein. It was one more successful day after having to address an emerging problem in the morning. I know this won’t last forever. We’ll enjoy it while we can.
