At lunch with the Greens the other day, Angela told me a story of how a friend who was a caregiver for his aunt dealt with a situation all caregivers for people with dementia (PWD) face, what to do when your loved one keeps asking the same question over and over. She said he made signs that he could hold up and show his aunt. I said, “That sounds like something done for the convenience of the caregiver and not the PWD.” She went on to explain that she had heard that having a visual helps the PWD to remember.
Having reflected on this a bit, this approach misses something important. From my perspective, one of my pleasures is being able to help Kate with something that she either can’t do or finds difficult or inconvenient to do. Every time she asks me someone’s name, where we are, or anything else she has forgotten, she gives me an opportunity to do something for her.
I believe one of my greatest privileges is to walk with Kate through these last chapters of her life. I intend to keep answering her questions and to do it happily. These are things she wants to know, and I am glad to tell her. It will be sad day when she no longer asks me questions.
