The life of a caregiver and the person with dementia is full of surprises. I tend to think all of the surprises are ones that take the caregiver off guard. I know that can’t be the case. With the increasing loss of memory, the life of someone with dementia must be filled with surprises all day long. I can’t speak to those, but I can tell you what surprised me this morning.
I returned from my walk just before 8:00. I noticed quite a few leaves from a neighbor’s loquat tree on our driveway. That looked just like something Kate would have done. She has always liked to pull leaves from her shrubs and those of our neighbors when they hang over into our yard. I was surprised because she has been sleeping so late recently. When I got inside, I met her coming into the family room ready for Panera. She was dressed in a pair of pants from my gym suit. They were a little long for her, so she was walking on them. She was wearing an old top that I had put with a few other old clothes in the back of my closet. When I got back to the closet to change, I noticed that some of my things appeared to have been rifled the way a thief might have done. She had gone through my underwear drawer and a shelf at the back of the closet that had a stack of my tee shirts. They were simply thrown to the floor of the closet. When I went back to the family room, I found that she had moved two chairs from their usual spots and placed them side by side in a different place than where they had been. Later today when we got home from lunch, I decided to take in some of the things she put in the back seat of the car yesterday. They included a heavy fleece robe, a pair of shoes, one of her tops, and a pair of my socks.
Because she was up early, we had plenty of time to get to church, something that doesn’t happen frequently these days. We got to Panera by 8:30 and came home to change clothes for church around 9:30. It is difficult for her to participate in the service because she doesn’t understand a lot of things. It is also hard for her to read. She can’t read the bulletin or the lyrics of the hymns. There are some things that are still in the recesses of her memory. I watched carefully this morning. She remembered the Apostles Creed, the Lord’s Prayer, and some of the lyrics for one of the hymns.
I should also mention that on the way to church she talked about her time as the volunteer church librarian. She served in that capacity for 19 years. She is proud of the contribution she made and was able to point out some of the ways she helped members locate the materials they needed. She has a reason to be proud. She worked a lot for a volunteer. As she said to me this morning, it was something she enjoyed doing. She was a natural for the position. She and her family were very active in their church. She was very familiar with church life. She has a master’s in library science and 13 years experience as a librarian in the public school system. She also has the right personality for a position like that. She has excellent social skills and an eagerness to serve those who enter the library. I remember many times when we were traveling, and she would make long distance calls to various members following up on their requests for information. Frequently, she had picked up those requests on her voice mail after we were out of town. Despite the unusual behavior this morning, I am pleased that she is happy and remembering these things from the past.
