Not a good day

We have just returned from dinner at Chalupas, our favorite Mexican restaurant. We go there about once a week, usually on Monday night. Sometimes I think of it as a good place for Kate when she is down. Tonight was one of those occasions. I wish I could say that the experience uplifted her spirits. It’s not just the food. In fact, it’s not even primarily the food. We like the owner and his family, all of whom work there at least from time to time. School is out, and all three children were working tonight.

I wish I could explain why Kate has been down today. I do know that she seemed all right this morning when we were at Panera. The first sign came just before noon when I told her that it was time for me to leave for Rotary. She didn’t say a word, but she looked dejected. This follows a few recent signs that she is bothered when I need to go somewhere. She feels trapped at home.

The need to get out comes up periodically in the afternoon. She comes into the kitchen which I use as an office and asks, “What can I do now?” As I noted in a post yesterday or day before, I generally give her options. The one with which she connects is always going to Panera. That occurred without words this afternoon when I returned from Rotary. She met me in the kitchen and simply said, “I’ll meet you outside.” That is her instruction that she is ready to go to Panera. I told her I would be right with her. I packed up my computer, our iPads, our cups, and met her outside. We were at Panera about an hour when she was ready to leave. During the time we were there, she was experiencing frustration with her iPad. The problem continues to be that she hits a wrong button while she is working a puzzle. That takes her to a screen that she doesn’t want. She doesn’t know what to do. She never asks for my help. She just groans and/or closes her iPad and puts it on the table. Often she lets me (somewhat reluctantly it appears) to get her puzzle back. She then works a while longer until it occurs again. After several tries, she is ready to leave. That is exactly what happened this afternoon.

On the way home I told her that I would drop her off and then go to the AT&T store to see about a new cover for her iPad. She has an old one that won’t prop up so that she can more easily work puzzles. When I told her this, she told me she thought we were going to eat. At that time it was only 3:50. She looked dejected and made audible groans which is common. I tried to talk with her and look for a way to help. She didn’t want to talk at all. This is actually an extension of an old habit she had prior to Alzheimer’s.

When I got back home, she seemed even more discouraged. I asked if she would like me to play a recorded show of Golden Girls. She wasn’t excited about that but agreed. At 5:30, we went to eat.

Right now we are in our bedroom where I have the PBS Newshour on. Kate is in bed working on her iPad. She seems content at this moment. No groans. No dejected looks. I hope this continues. Ordinarily, we do this routine, and she seems to enjoy it. I hope that is the case tonight.