Up until now, the only people I have told about Kate’s diagnosis are Jesse and Kevin. I had also told our pastor when he asked me if Kate was all right almost two years ago. More recently, I told an administrative assistant at the church, who also had asked if everything were all right. Two days ago, however, I received a call from Ellen who was just checking in since she hadn’t heard from us in a few days. Kate was outside working with her plants. The past couple of weeks I had been thinking it was time for me to let her know about Kate, but I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it since Kate and I are normally together when we are with Ellen. I was also concerned that if I called and left a message that Ellen might call the house and get Kate and mention that I had called.
Ellen’s call presented the perfect opportunity, and I took it. The only thing I regret is that I could not have done it face-to-face and done it more gently. She was both surprised and moved as you might expect of a best friend. In our conversation she did say that she had noticed some signs, but she had assumed it was just the normal thing that happens to us as we age. I was very clear that Kate did not want anyone to know, not even our children. I did tell her that I had told them just before we went to New Zealand.
Ellen wanted to know what she could do; she would do anything. I told her there wasn’t anything special she needed to do, just continue to be a good friend. We did talk about opportunities for them to go to lunch or shop for plants or anything like that.
