So how are we feeling today?

Today is the 52nd anniversary of our first date and the 51st anniversary of our engagement. We normally do more reflecting on those occasions than we are today. Perhaps I should say that we have acknowledged the occasions; however, our mood is somber rather than joyous. Kate continues to be down as a result of her accident. She said she was feeling better this morning. Then we received a call from the State Farm adjuster who asked questions about the accident. I still hadn’t been able to learn who has(d) our car.

While at lunch I got a call from the officer who was at the scene of the accident. She gave me the correct name, address, and phone number of the garage that was holding the car. I have now arranged for it to be towed to the same body shop that has previously done work for us. All this activity has brought back Kate’s feelings of inadequacy.

On top of the accident, Kate has left her purse with her cell phone at 2 different restaurants over the weekend. The first was on Saturday. We had lunch near my office. We realized sometime later than she did not have her cell phone but couldn’t figure out where it might be. At almost 3:00 am Sunday morning, I got a text message saying it had been found at deli where we had had lunch. After church on Sunday we went by to pick it up.

That afternoon we attended a Christmas concert given by the Nashville Symphony. We went with a group of Kate’s PEO sisters and some spouses. After the concert we went to dinner.

On Monday we realized that Kate’s phone was missing. I called it a number of times while I looked in the car, in her closet, in our bedroom as well as other bedrooms in the house. We simply didn’t know where it was until I received a call yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon. It was the manager of the restaurant where we had dinner saying she had the purse and phone. I told her we would come out today to get it. That took us to there for lunch, and we recovered the missing items. I have needed to watch for Kate’s purse for a long time, but it just isn’t in my sphere of concern. I need to change and am committed to doing so.

Now the real issue – how am I doing? I would say that I am anxious. Seeing the decline in Kate saddens me. It makes me wonder how long we have before it is clear to everyone that she has Alzheimer’s. Already it has seriously affected our conversations. She is unable to express much interest, only toleration, for things I have to say. Often, it is obvious that she doesn’t want to go on with a conversation. We connect best when we reminisce about the experiences we have over our years together. We both enjoyed reflecting on the people we have known, the places we have been, etc. It is difficult to engage in much other conversation. I am beginning to accept longer periods of silence which is something that a person with my personality has trouble with.

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