I have mentioned before that Kate and I rarely have any conversations that relate directly to her Alzheimer’s and how she is feeling. This past Wednesday, however, we had a brief discussion. Here’s how it happened. I think I have commented before that she has a harder time understanding movies than she used to. She gets confused about the plot, especially if there is anything complicated about it. On Wednesday, we went to see Anna Jesseina. It was a modern adaptation that I won’‘t even go into; however, neither of us liked it. It also had a lot of very quick “cuts” during the early part of the movie that made it hard to know who was who and what was going on. I suspected this would be hard on her, and it was. (A similar thing had gone on at Un Ballo in Maschera at The Met.)
As we drove to Hathaway’s s for dinner afterwards, we discussed the movie. When we got there, she told me that she just couldn’t get any of it. She was confused the whole time. It made it very difficult for her to remain to watch the movie. Then she said, “”You know I am getting worse.” I acknowledged that she was correct. We discussed how fortunate we are to be enjoying things while she can. She indicated she didn’t know how long that would last, but her comments made it sound like she may think it will last longer than I think. I asked her if she felt any closer to telling the children about her Alzheimer’s. She responded very quickly that she felt we were a long way from that. I, on the other hand, had been thinking that we might want to tell them either before or after our trip to Jackson Hole in June. (My reasoning is that they might notice signs that would make them wonder.) I told her I knew she didn’t like to dwell on the topic but that I wanted to be more supportive if I could. The conversation didn’t last long, but it underscored my belief that she is quite frustrated over not being able to do things or to understand movies. I think that extends to books because I hear her talk less about her books than she used to do. I think her major reason for listening to books is to help her sleep and that she is not finishing books nor remembering what she has read. She is also playing Free Cell on the computer and her iPad more. In addition, she jumps around from one task to another. I suspect that relates to frustration she has with one and tries something else.
I had a brief conversation with our pastor this week. He mentioned that a member of the staff had thought things were not quite right with Kate after our return from New York. He also felt that our children probably know or have a suspicion. This makes me think that others around the church are beginning to notice. He encouraged me to tell the children, but I think that was mostly to help me since I do not have someone to talk with now. I told him that he and our attorney were the only ones who know.