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A Good Day

Yesterday morning, I walked into our bedroom at 11:00 to check on Kate. She looked like she was asleep but opened her eyes as I approached her. She smiled and asked, “Who are you?” I said, “Would you like to guess?” She said, “My husband?” I said, “We’re off to a good start?” She smiled. She asked my name and then hers. I told her and said I would like to take her to lunch. She said she was hungry but needed her clothes. I pointed them out to her and asked if she wanted to shower. She didn’t. That helped us get ready more quickly than usual.

She was in a good humor and showed a good understanding of my personality. As we walked out of the house, she spit on the floor of the garage. Then she said, “I know that bothers you.” I said, “What makes you think that?” She said, “You like everything just right.” I don’t say much about this, but she frequently says things about me (mostly my OCD tendencies) that are right on target. It continues to amaze me that her feelings for people and things are so strong even as her memory fades.

At home, in the car, at lunch, and the balance of the day, she frequently asked, “Where are we right now?” As I have said before, this is a common experience. It just occurred more yesterday.

The weather this week and next is supposed to be cold, so I wanted to get her a couple of new sweaters. I took her to a department store not far from the restaurant where we had lunch. I had mentioned this before lunch, and she frowned. She doesn’t care much for shopping. It could be that it is too confusing for her to look at her options and make a decision. After lunch I didn’t tell her where we were going. I just drove to the store. We got out and went directly to the sweaters. I picked out three things in the right size and asked how she liked them. They were fine. She wasn’t excited about having new clothes, but I felt better than we have more options now.

We had dinner with friends we had met at Casa Bella on their Broadway nights. We have gotten together with them on several other occasions. Kate was less active in our conversation than the three of us, but she enjoyed herself. We will be with them this coming Monday night at Casa Bella for their annual Christmas dinner and again next Wednesday for a concert a short drive from Knoxville. It’s good for both of us to expand our social connections.

When we got home, we watched a series of YouTube videos of Christmas music sung by the Tabernacle Choir. She was enthralled by them. When I turned off the music, she talked about how much she enjoyed our being able to share in the music together. As I helped her get ready for bed, we had another special moment. She thanked me “for all you do for me.” She said she thought we were a good match for each other.  It wasn’t until she said, “I think we are going to make a good team.” that I realized she was talking as though we were not married but anticipating it. She was optimistic about our future together and stumbled over her words. I said, “Do you mean ‘mature together?’” She said, “Yes, we’re going to mature together.” Then she mentioned that she was going to want children and thought I felt the same way. As we got into bed, she said, “This is the first time I have felt like a real grown up.” She continued to talk about how good she felt about us. It was interesting that she never asked my name, her name, or the names of her parents. She was absorbed in our relationship, and so was I.

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Special Moments Yesterday

Not every moment of every day is special. Some are discouraging, sad, or trying. As I have noted many times, we have experienced relatively few of those. I find that we have enough uplifting moments to offset those I would like to forget. Some of those involve planned events like our regular dinners at Casa Bella for their music nights or our visits with family and friends. Many of them occur without any planning at all. They just happen without any prior expectation. That was the case yesterday.

It was a day for the sitter. This was only the second time that Valorie has been with us. She will now be our regular sitter on Mondays. I was especially eager to get Kate up a little earlier than usual. As time passed and Kate had not gotten up on her own, I began to think of a new plan for the sitter. I decided to let her sleep until 11:00. That would leave an hour for her to get showered and dressed before I left at noon. It would relieve me of the pressure of getting her up and dressed and to Panera for a sandwich before I left. I would simply let the sitter take her to lunch while I go to Rotary. Assuming it worked, it would be something we could do on a regular basis from now own.

At 11:00, I went into the bedroom and sat down on the bed next to Kate. She looked up at me and smiled. We began a fifteen-minute conversation that for me was as tender a conversation as we have ever had, and she didn’t even know my name.

RICHARD:               “You look relaxed.”

KATE:                       “I am.”

RICHARD:               “I’m glad.”

KATE:                       “Where am I?”

RICHARD:               “You’re in your very own bed in our house in Knoxville, Tennessee.”

KATE:                       “We have a house?”

From this point, we went through our usual conversation, at least in the words that were spoken. She wanted to know my name, her name, and her parents’ names. If you read these posts with any regularity, you can pretty easily grasp the content of the conversation. What was different about this one was the tone. She was very relaxed and sleepy. I responded in kind. It was much more like a father talking with his young child. She was trusting me as the person with the answers to her questions. I am touched by her growing dependence.The difference between this situation and with a child is that she can’t remember. A child can or will learn. That’s not going to happen with Kate.

Our conversation ended when she said she was sleepy and wanted to rest some more. I explained that I would be leaving and that Valorie would be with her. She didn’t remember Valorie, but I told her she was here last week and that she had liked her. I also explained that Valorie would be happy to help her with her shower and clothes if she needed help. She was comfortable with that, and I left her to rest. Equally important was the fact that I was comfortable. I let go of my desire to get her up, dressed, and to lunch. I accepted that this change needed to occur. It enabled me to have an easy conversation with Kate rather than pushing her to get up when she really wanted to stay in bed.

When Valorie arrived, I explained that Kate was still sleeping and talked with her about helping her get up and to the shower and dressing. I made it clear that this was the first time anyone else had helped with these things but that I thought Kate would be cooperative. When I arrived home, they were both in the family room. I walked Valorie to the door. She said she had helped Kate with the shower (not sure exactly how much help she had to provide) and getting dressed and that Kate accepted willingly. I was delighted. I have known we would face this step sometime and wondered how we might make a smooth transition. It turns out to have been easier than I expected. Of course, it may not be this way every time, but it’s a great start. Having the sitter assume this responsibility will ease my stress a good bit. I won’t have to worry about pushing her to get up.

After Valorie was gone, Kate and I sat side by side on the love seat in our family room and looked at one of the photo books of her family. This is one put together by her brother Ken and her cousin Sharon. It is the story of the Franklin Family Veil. One of Kate’s aunts bought the veil in Brussels in 1924 for her wedding. It has been worn by many brides in the family since that time. It contains a bit more narrative than some of the other photo books. I read to her, and she loved seeing the photos. I was touched again to share in that moment.

I try to make a point of moments like these because it is so easy to think her memory loss would prevent our experiencing such pleasures. It is true that there are things we did before that are no longer part of our lives, but much of that is offset by other things that she can appreciate. There will be a time when those will diminish as well. I’m not going to worry about those right now. I’d rather focus on these special moments that still come our way.

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Confused But at Ease

Yesterday I decided to let Kate sleep a little later than the past few days. I checked on her at 11:00 and found that her eyes were open. I asked if she would like to get up. She asked me to give her a little more time. I went back in twenty minutes. She was awake. I told her it was getting close to the time we should leave for lunch and thought she should get up if she could. She indicated she was hungry.

I said something about her having slept later than she had during the time Virginia and Ken were visiting. She said, “Who?” I told her again. She didn’t recognize who I was talking about. I said, “Ken is your brother.” There was no sign of recognition. She said, “What’s his name?” I repeated his name. She usually says she likes the name “Franklin.” This time it meant nothing to her. She did ask where he got his name. I told her from his mother and father and that they were also her parents. She wanted know their names. I told her. She wanted me to repeat their full names. She asked me to do it again. She wanted me to say each name (first, middle, and last) slowly so that she could repeat each one. When I had done this, she wanted to know my name. I told her and told her I am her husband. She was surprised. I told her a little bit about our courtship and then our marriage in her home church. She was still puzzled but accepted what I had said.

Two things struck me about this experience. The first is that it’s one more time that it took her a while to acknowledge that we are married. It’s getting harder for her to remember that. The second is that she continues to trust me as someone she knows. She shows no sign of fear. She seems perfectly comfortable with me. I am grateful for that.

All of this must have taken fifteen minutes. She finally got up a little after noon. She took a shower and then got back in the bed. I got her up just after 1:00. It was 1:45 when we left for lunch. Just before leaving, she walked out of the bathroom with a tube of toothpaste and a toothbrush in her hand and asked, “Are we going to stay another night?” I told her we were. Then I took them back to the bathroom.

The rest of the day went quite well. I saw no indication that she forgot that I am her husband although she did ask my name a number of times. At lunch she said something affectionate and immediately asked my name. Then she laughed in recognition of how strange it sounded to pair those two things. Twice she mentioned that she remembered coming to the restaurant with her mother although her mother had never been there.

There is one other thing I haven’t commented on before. The restaurant where we eat each Sunday has several prominent photos of Frank Sinatra, and much of their music features him. One of the photos was taken when he was arrested for seduction and adultery in 1938. Kate asked me about the photo the first time she saw it. I explained and also said something about his mob connections. I didn’t think much of it, but every Sunday she asks me who he is multiple times. When I say his name, she always responds negatively. Today, for example, she said, “He’s a rat.” Then she said, “I don’t know why I feel that way.” It’s another good example of how well she can hold on to feelings while she so easily forgets names and other facts associated with them.

I was about to finish this post when I recalled one other example of the power of feelings. Last night I played several YouTube videos of Christmas music when I suggested it was time to get ready for bed. She got up from her chair to walk to the bathroom. As she did, she commented on the beautiful music and how special it was that we could share it together. Then she asked my name. A few minutes later she called me by name. She hasn’t completely forgotten it yet.

When she came out of the bathroom, she said, “I’m glad we came here.” A few minutes later she asked where we are and how I found “this place.” I told her I couldn’t remember. She thanked me for bringing her here.

As I was helping her get into her night clothes, she said, “I wonder what my mother would think of this. <pause> I think she would approve.” Then she thanked me and said, “I don’t know what I would do without you. I mean it. I really don’t know how I could do it.”

All of these things are signs that she is still able to feel, enjoy, and appreciate things. I am grateful. We have made the most of that ability in the past and will continue to do so even as the names and recognition of people and places recedes from her memory.

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A Good Last Day with the Franklins

Late yesterday afternoon, Virginia and Ken caught a flight back to Texas. It was a very good visit for us, and, I believe, for them. I really hated to see them go. Given Ken’s own Alzheimer’s diagnosis, one might expect them to be understanding of our situation, and they are. They are also very thoughtful guests and were long before Alzheimer’s entered both of our worlds. They are the only people I know who can visit and make you feel like you are the guest. That’s a good thing; they make you feel special.

For me, the highlight of the visit was the first afternoon when Kate and Ken spent over three hours together going through family photo books. Even though Virginia and I were in the kitchen the whole time, it was special for us to know they were having such a special moment together.

Each day Kate slept late and would have slept later if I hadn’t gotten her up. Yesterday she was especially tired, but she got up without a fuss. I hated to wake her, I felt like the time with the Franklins was too precious to let her sleep too long.

I’ve reported on two recent social situations in which Kate’s conversation has been unusually bold as though she were working to get attention. She had one of those experiences yesterday before going to lunch. I think she was trying to be humorous, but it wasn’t working. It was totally unlike her. It continued for a time at lunch, but she soon settled down.

Kate and Ken have a cousin whose husband had Alzheimer’s. I know that she used to carry small cards that she gave to people letting them know of her husband’s diagnosis and asking for their understanding. I’ve kept that tucked away in the back of my mind for a  long time but haven’t felt a need for them. These recent experiences have led me to believe otherwise.

After returning from lunch, we had another hour to relax before the Franklins left for the airport. I have to admit to more than a bit of sadness as their departure approached. I can’t predict if and when the four of us might be together again. As I have said in other posts, I know it is unlikely that we will make another trip to Texas. I also know that Kate will not be the same if they are able to visit us again. In that sense, this visit was another of those “last moments” that become treasured memories.

There were a number of things that made our time together special. The obvious one is the sibling relationship between Kate and Ken. It is also the longevity of our relationship as couples. We have lived apart all that time, but we have visited in one another’s homes many times. We have shared responsibilities of parent care. Now there is something else that unites us. We are all living with Alzheimer’s. Throughout their visit, I could sense that connection. Ken and Virginia were very understanding about things like getting started in the morning and my having to step aside to help Kate get ready. It was a little like having a support group at our house for the entire visit. I’ll miss that.

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Another Early Morning Experience

Yesterday it was 5:00. Today it was 4:00. The experience was similar but not exactly the same. Yesterday she seemed afraid of something that happened in a dream. This morning I felt a wet spot in the bed and asked her if she wanted to go to the bathroom. She said she did. I walked around to her side of the bed and asked if she would like me to help her to the bathroom. She said yes. I helped her sit up on the side of the bed. She said, “Thank you. Who are you?” I said, “I am Richard Creighton, and I am your husband.” She didn’t act surprised or in disbelief as she sometimes does. She held my hand all the way to the bathroom. On the way, she asked my name again. I told her I would get her a fresh gown and underwear.

This was a time I had to make a quick decision. Do I take off the sheets and put on clean ones or do I put something over the wet spot? I decided to do the minimum and focus on getting back to sleep. I got two towels to put over the wet spot. Kate brought another one from the bathroom that I placed over the others.

When we got back in bed, Kate thanked me several times. I said, “I like to help you. I will always be here for you. I want you to count on that.” She thanked me again and said, “What’s your name?” She said, “Oh, I knew that.” That started a conversation that must have lasted thirty minutes. It was very much the same as the previous night. After asking my name, she wanted to know her own name. Then it was her mother’s name. That led to her asking the names of her father and children. After my telling her each name, she asked me to tell her again.

Like the previous night, she never sounded anxious. She was very natural in asking and receiving what I told her. As on other occasions, she responded with good feelings about her mother and her family. She was especially pleased when I told her that our oldest grandson, Brian, is in his second year at TCU and that his sister, Heather, would be a freshman at TCU next fall. I told her that her father was one of eight children. She asked me to tell her their names.

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Another Good Day

Kate didn’t want to get up yesterday. I suspect that may have been a result of our having gotten to bed a little later the night before and our early morning experience when she lost another hour’s sleep. Not only that, I feel sure it was taxing for her to be in a lengthy social situation during most of the day and that evening. Ken and Virginia went to Panera early and then came over to the house while I was trying to get Kate ready. Their being here helped me explain why I wanted her to get up. She didn’t protest at all. She was simply tired.

We went to lunch at one of Ken’s favorite places from his past visits. We ended lunch with a special dessert, hot fudge sundae over a brownie in a large goblet. Kate and I have watched it served during the forty years we have eaten there. We’ve always said that one day we would have to try it. It was Ken’s birthday. That seemed like the time, and it was.

Once back at the house, Kate lay down to rest in our bedroom. I think she rested a full two hours before I got her up. She and Ken looked over more of the photo books and then we were off to dinner. We had another good meal, conversation, and, of course, a high-calorie dessert. It was another good way to celebrate Ken’s 75th birthday.

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Our Early Morning Experience

Early this morning I heard Kate whimpering. I asked what was bothering her. Our conversation went something like this and was repeated several times.

KATE:            “Where am I?”

RICHARD:    “You’re in our bed in our very own house in Knoxville.”

KATE:            “Thank God. <pause> Who are you?”

RICHARD:    “Richard Lee Creighton, and I am your husband.”

KATE:            (as if talking to herself) “That’s right. Where am I?”

RICHARD:    “You’re in your bed at home.”

KATE:            “What’s your name?”

RICHARD:    “Richard Creighton.”

KATE:            “I’m glad you’re with me. I feel safe when you’re with me.”

From this point she wanted to know the names of her mother and father, if we have children, and their names. Then she wanted to go to the bathroom and asked where it is. I asked if she wanted me to help her there. She did. I helped her up and walked her to the bathroom. As we walked, she said, “Are we in the hospital?” I said, “No, we’re at home. You’re going to be all right. I’ll make sure of that.” She said, “I’m glad you’re here. I feel safe with you.”

After she finished in the bathroom, I helped her back to bed. That began a repeat of the conversation above. She wanted to know where she was, who I was, and to hear about our children and grandchildren. She began to relax, and we both fell asleep.

I need to say that this experience was not exactly like the anxiety attacks she has had before. This one seemed more like a response to a bad dream. She began to feel relieved right away when I told her where she was and who I am. The anxiety attacks were more enduring. Her concern then was her state of mind. This time she seemed afraid of something that was happening to her. The fact that she asked if she were in a hospital and that she felt relief when I told her she was in her own home makes be think it had to have been a dream. This hasn’t happened often, but it has occurred several times over the past few years.

It is almost 9:30 right now, and she is still sleeping. I’ll probably see about waking her soon. If today is half as good as yesterday, it will be a terrific day.

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A Great Day with the Franklins

I love being able to report good news, and that’s what I have in this report. Yesterday was our first full day with Ken and Virginia. Kate did not sleep as late as she has been. That enabled us to meet them at Panera for Kate’s muffin, morning beverages, and good conversation. From there we went to lunch at Carla’s. We are taking them to some of our regular places to give them an idea of our daily routine for the past few years.

If the day had ended right after lunch, I would have said we had a really good day, but the best was yet to come. Virginia and I were both hoping that Kate and Ken would have an opportunity to enjoy their time together apart from the four of us. I wasn’t quite sure how we might orchestrate that, but that turned out not to be a problem. After we returned home, they sat down on the sofa in the family room and started looking at some of the family photo books. Virginia and I made an exit to the kitchen. The two of them reviewed family photos and talked for at least three hours. I don’t recall another time that Kate has engaged in conversation with anyone else for that length of time.

I only wish I could have listened in on what they were saying. I do know one thing. More than two hours after they had been talking, Virginia heard Kate say, “What’s your name?” After Ken answered, she said, “And you’re my brother?” Later I mentioned that to Ken. He said she asked his name several times as they were talking. He said she asked very naturally. I was so glad he had that experience. That is exactly the experience I have with her.

Before we left for dinner. I asked if she would like to use the bathroom before we left. She said, “Yes, where is it?” I told her I would show her. She met the three of us in the kitchen a few minutes later. She walked in as though she had never been there before and said, “This is a nice kitchen.”

We topped off our day with dinner at Casa Bella. It was the last night for their program of music from Les Miserables. All of us enjoyed the music and food. It was a great evening and a suiting end to a very good day.

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From Clarity to Excitement to Insecurity to Enjoyment to Confusion

All of us experience moments when we are up and when we are down. Kate sometimes changes quickly from one emotion to another. She hasn’t always been like that. Alzheimer’s is the culprit. Yesterday she went through a series of emotions from the time she awoke until we had gone to bed.

When I went I to wake her, her eyes were open. She was very relaxed. She was enjoying the comfort of a warm bed on a cold morning. As I approached her, she smiled warmly. There was no sign of confusion about who I was. I told her good morning and that I love her. She smiled again and motioned with her hands that she felt the same way about me.

We didn’t have any obligations that required her to get up at that time, but I thought it would be good for her to get up for lunch and take care of a few things before Ken and Virginia arrived later in the afternoon. Often she is resistant to getting up, so I approached this cautiously. I found that for the second day in a row she was very cooperative. We were off to a good start.

Apart from her usual problem with names, Kate seemed quite normal and completely at ease. We had lunch and came back home and relaxed a while. Later we went to Barnes & Noble. Shortly after we arrived, I received a call from Sue Glenn, a childhood friend of Kate’s in Fort Worth. She was calling to check on Kate. It was just over a year ago that we had visited with her and several other high school friends when we were in Fort Worth. We hadn’t spoken with her since a phone call conversation a few weeks after that. I always wonder how Kate will handle phone calls from people she has not seen or talked with in a long time. I was very pleasantly surprised that the call could not have gone better. I told Kate who was calling and handed her the phone. Her eyes lit up immediately. There was a clear sign of recognition. She and Sue chatted almost ten minutes. Kate couldn’t say much with a lot of specifics, but she was able to convey her feelings about her past experiences. I think I derived as much pleasure listening to Kate’s side of the conversation as she enjoyed talking with Sue. I don’t often see such excitement or recognition these days.

We went back home to await a call from Virginia and Ken. After their call, I told Kate they would be coming to the house and then we would go to dinner. Coming off the phone call with Sue, I expected Kate to show a similar reaction. Instead, she felt a little uneasy. She said she was tired and didn’t feel like being with anyone. She didn’t say much more. I thought (and still think) she felt the need to be a gracious hostess and wouldn’t be able to carry it off. I assured her she always did well in social situations and would be just fine. She said, “You promise?” I said, “I promise.”

I am happy to say that I was right. She was herself, and we all had a good time. We chatted a short time before going to dinner. The dinner also went well. Ken and Virginia got a sense of why we like eating out so much. We encountered a couple of people we hadn’t seen in a good while. That added another nice touch to the evening.

Ken and Virginia went back to their hotel after dinner. When we came in the house, Kate was confused about where she should go. She wanted to go to the bathroom and asked where it is. I took her to the one she uses most. It wasn’t long before I heard a loud “Hey.” She didn’t hear me answer and asked, “Hey, where are you?” I said, “I’m in our bedroom.” She said, “Where is that?” By that time, I had walked to her. She was standing in a hallway around the corner from our bedroom. She didn’t know where to go. As I walked her to the bedroom, we passed the open door of the guest bathroom. She looked in and saw the bathroom door to the bedroom was also open. She said, “What’s that?” I told her. She said, “Oh.” Nothing seemed familiar to her.

Her confusion continued after we were in bed. She had forgotten that we are married. This was the second night in a row we have had this experience. Our conversation sounded like a couple that is dating. I said, “I love you.” She laughed and said, “We’ll see.” I said, “Well, don’t you love me?” She said, “Maybe. We’ll see.” I said, “Maybe we should make this a long-term relationship.” She said, “Let’s not talk about this right now.” It wasn’t long before she touched me. Then she touched her lips and blew me a kiss. Shortly after that she put her arm around me and we went to sleep.

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Signs of Christmas

It’s beginning to look and feel a lot like Christmas. Our neighbors across the street started their decorating the week after Thanksgiving. When we returned from Texas, we noticed that the neighbors next door and one other put theirs up while we were gone. The past couple of years I haven’t done anything except to join all the neighbors in putting up a tree near the street in the front yard. All of us do that every year.

This could very well be the last Christmas that Kate and I will celebrate in a typical way. I felt like we should do more than in the past few years. I discovered that the wife of the man who has been helping to clean up the dead shrubs around the house is a former florist and decorator. I engaged her to put up greenery with red bows outside in each of the front windows. She also put garlands with white lights down the railings on either side of the front porch. I showed her some of the other decorations that Kate has used in the past. She use those along with a few new things and decorated our family room and the bay window in the kitchen. It is not elaborate but attractive. Kate was happy with what she had done. So was I.

Our church sponsored a Christmas luncheon for seniors that we attended yesterday. We were supposed to be at church at 11:15 to catch a bus to the restaurant where it was held. That made me a little nervous since it can easily be 11:30 or noon before Kate can get ready. Fortunately, that was not a problem. I woke her around 9:30. She got up easily, and we were there in plenty of time. I was happy about that because we have been very irregular in our church attendance for at least a year. I believe it is good for both of us to maintain our ties. This luncheon was a good opportunity with a group of people we have known for a long time.

Kate handled herself well as usual. After we arrived, I left Kate with a couple of friends while I went to a table to make name tags for us. I was gone only a short time when I noticed that she was looking around the room. I knew she was looking for me. I walked over to her. She said, “I didn’t know where you were.” The only thing I know that she couldn’t handle was how to answer a woman’s question as to where she lives. She turned to me and asked me to tell her. This was a woman we don’t know well and probably doesn’t know about Kate’s Alzheimer’s. She must have thought it strange. We had a brief conversation with another woman Kate didn’t remember. The woman said she had trouble with names herself. Then Kate proceeded to tell her she has the same problem. She went on to describe how she turns to me, points to someone she should remember, and asks me the person’s name.

We came back home after lunch. Kate rested for about almost an hour before we left to get our hair cut. They cut Kate’s hair first and then mine. Kate worked on her iPad while I was getting my hair cut. When I was through and ready to leave, she was in the middle of a puzzle and wanted to finish. I sat down with my iPad and did a little reading. The next thing I knew thirty minutes had passed. I asked if she were ready to leave. She said she wasn’t. She had gotten comfortable and was enjoying herself in much the same way she does at Panera or Barnes & Noble. I waited a few more minutes and then told her I thought it was time to go.

From there, we went to Target where I was looking for a hanger for the wreath for our front door. They didn’t have what I needed, but Kate walked very patiently through the store with me and back to the car.

It was getting close to dinner time, so we went to eat before going back home. We had a nice dinner. Then we returned home and relaxed until 9:00 when we started getting ready for bed.

Kate’s brother and his wife arrive from Texas this afternoon. As we left the restaurant last night, I reminded her of that. As I expected, she hadn’t remembered and asked their names. We went through them a couple of times. Then she asked when they were coming. When I told her this afternoon, she asked, “Where are they staying?” I told her they were staying in a hotel near us. She had a look of relief as she realized she didn’t have to do anything to get the house ready. I was pleased to see that. It is one of the few signs I have seen suggesting that she might feel some responsibility for taking care of things like that. Something similar happened yesterday afternoon. We drove up to our house, and I said, “Look at all the leaves, and (the person who cuts the grass) was just here last week.” Kate said, “I guess I’ll have to get out and rake them.” She has done a little raking in the past but never often. I was surprised that she assumed it would be her responsibility.