Addendum for Previous Post

In my previous post I neglected to mention something else that illustrates Kate’s appreciation of things she sees as beautiful. At dinner last night our server brought out a dish with a small cup of Parmesan cheese and another of hot peppers. Underneath them was a paper doily that looked like something my grandmother used to crochet with an outer band of lace. On at least two other occasions, Kate has brought them home. Last night she did so again. She held it in her hand very carefully, trying not to damage it in anyway. Before getting out of the car, she asked me to take it. She said that I was likely to be more careful with it than she. I thought this was interesting in two ways. First, it expressed how much she liked something so simple. Second, she sensed a difference in the way each of us handles our things. She didn’t want it messed up. She trusted my OCD tendencies to protect it.

It also reminds me of how kind she can be in her evaluations. There are many simple things that she appreciates that she might not have before her Alzheimer’s. She is very generous in her own critiques of theatrical and musical performances. She is the same with her attribution of skills of the people she meets. I notice this a lot when I do something simple and very ordinary. She will say something like “You’re so smart.” She does the same thing with many of the people we encounter daily. I think this is a natural outgrowth of her own loss of rational abilities. She still retains an appreciation of such skills and is impressed with the people who still have them.

Seeing beauty in things we take for granted and special skills that we would also overlook gives her more things in life to enjoy than the average person. That’s something else that the longevity of intuitive skills provides to make life enjoyable. How grateful I am for that. That has made living with Alzheimer’s easier for both of us.

Reflecting on Kate’s Intuitive Abilities

As Kate’s rational abilities (remembering names, places, processes, relationships, etc.) continue to fade away, I find myself focusing even more on her intuitive abilities. These are the ones that involve our five senses, sight, suond, taste, smell, and touch. As Judy Cornish stresses in The Dementia Handbook, it is the rational abilities that decline so rapidly with dementia. People with dementia (PWD) continue to experience the world through their senses and from them derive associated feelings. They also hold on to feelings associated with people, places, and things even after the names are forgotten. I have often mentioned how important music has been to Kate and me, but I don’t believe I have given sufficient attention to her other sensory experiences. In addition to sound, sight has been especially important. I would like to relate a few experiences that occurred yesterday that illustrate what I mean.

It began first thing yesterday morning. Well, not “first thing.” It was actually 10:45 when I walked into the bedroom and noticed that Kate was awake. As I walked over to the bed, she smiled at me and gave me a little wave with her hand. From past experience I know that it is unlikely that she remembered my name. It is quite possible she didn’t remember that I am her husband; however, she did recognize me as someone she knows and likes. She responded very much the way she would have if she did not have Alzheimer’s. That was a “happy moment” for both of us, and it didn’t require any of the typical rational knowledge that we normally associate with a husband/wife relationship of fifty-five years. She felt good that I was there, and I felt good seeing her greet me so warmly.

You may recall two other similar experiences I have mentioned before. One involves a friend of Kate’s we saw at a movie several months ago. Kate has always liked her. We spoke for a few minutes. When we turned away to go into the theater, Kate said, “Who was that? I don’t remember her at all, but I  liked her.” Indeed she did. The other involves a negative feeling and is one that has occurred several times. It’s a mug shot of Frank Sinatra that hangs in a restaurant where we eat our Sunday lunch. She can never remember who he is, but she knows she doesn’t like him. That relates to my telling her about the circumstances of his arrest for adultery and seduction. Of course, she doesn’t remember that, only her feeling about it and him.

One of the best illustrations of the pleasure she derives from sight involves the children we see wherever we go. She loves watching them and often speaks to them. Another is her love for beauty in nature. I see this most often when she comments about the trees on the neighbor’s property behind our house. It also occurs when we are driving along the highway or local streets. She often says, “I love the green.” She is referring to the green trees and shrubbery. This experience also extends to sunsets and houses. As we leave our house, she almost always says, “I like that house.” when we pass the last house on our street. When she goes through the “Big Sister” photo book that her brother Ken made, she repeatedly comments on the smiles on people’s faces, even her own. And I shouldn’t overlook the puzzles she works. She often shows me a puzzle and comments about the beautiful colors or the cute kittens, and she works those same puzzles over and over and over. In the coming year I plan to make more visits to two of our local museums and our zoo. These are also things that she appreciates through her visual ability.

Of course, our senses are working together all the time. When I describe the pleasure Kate receives from music at Casa Bella, it is really mixed with the sight of familiar faces and good feelings about those with whom we sit each time. She can enjoy a great evening without depending on any rational abilities at all.

She has had several experiences over the past two days that illustrate the interaction of sight and sound. The first occurred at lunch on New Years. As we entered Panera, we saw a man we often call Montana because he spent much of his life there. He is there almost everyday. He sits outside rain or shine in winter and summer and always wears a cowboy hat. Over the past few years, Kate has always spoken to him when we arrive. After he returned her greeting on Tuesday, she said, “I like your voice. You should be on the radio.” By itself, this is just an indication that she liked his voice, but it is also something that is a common occurrence. She doesn’t say it to everyone, but she does often tell the person or me that he or she has a nice voice. I might add that Kate no longer remembers him as Montana or his real name, but she remembers him and continues to speak with him each time she sees him.

We had two similar experiences with servers yesterday, one at lunch, the other at dinner. The server at lunch has served us for several years. We often talk with her about her daughter who is a competitive swimmer. Yesterday we caught up on our separate travels to visit family for Christmas. As we left, Kate commented on how nice she is and her “natural” way of relating to her customers. With a different server, our experience could have been quite different. The best part might have only been the meal. As it was, sight and sound made for an enjoyable social experience as well.

The experience last night was similar though different in that our server had only served us once before. We didn’t have a history with her. I try to learn our servers’ names and asked her name. A little later, I asked if she were a student. She said she was, and I asked her major. Before we left, we had found out that she used to work at Casa Bella and knows the family of the owners. After we told her goodbye, Kate said, “I’m impressed with her, and she has a beautiful voice.” Again, her pleasure didn’t rely on her rational abilities at all.

These experiences remind me once again that how much of our pleasure derives from our intuitive abilities. For the past eight years, Kate and I have emphasized these abilities. We have enjoyed life and been happy. It is only within the past six months that I have understood why. I thank Judy Cornish for opening my eyes to the value of our intuitive abilities, especially for people with dementia. That becomes their only world.

The Beginning of a New Year

I let Kate sleep until almost 12:45 yesterday. She was sleeping soundly when I woke her. She smiled and waved. I sat down on the bed and told her I would like to take her to lunch. She said she would like that. When I gave her my hand to help her up, she said, “What’s your name?” I told her, and she asked me to repeat it. She said, “Where are my clothes?” I told her they were on the chair in front of her but suggested she might want to shower first. She asked where the shower is. I took her by the hand and walked her to the bathroom. On the way I said, “Today is Virginia Franklin’s birthday.” She looked puzzled and said, “Who’s that?” I said, “She is Ken’s wife.” She said, “Who is he?” I said, “He is your brother?” She said, “What’s his last name?” I told her. Then she asked, “Who am I?” I told her. When we walked into the bathroom, she asked again, “What is my name?” I turned the shower on for her. When she got in, she said it felt good. Then she said, “I’m awake now.” And she looked and sounded like it.

I left her in the shower and told her she could call me if she needed any help with her clothes. She said, “Why should I need help?” I told her I would put her clothes on the bed by my chair where she usually sits after her shower. In a little while, I went back to check on her. She was in bed running her fingers through her hair. I told her it was 1:30 and that she might like to get ready for lunch. She asked about her clothes. She had bundled them up and thrown them toward the end of the bed. Without asking, I proceeded to get each item of clothing for her. I gave her the opportunity to dress herself. She said she wanted to do it herself, but she kept asking for my help. When she was dressed, she wanted me to brush her hair.

When she was ready, she decided to make up the bed. She had completed one side and asked me to do the other side. I noticed that she had pulled the spread over the bed without pulling up and straightening the top sheet. She was about to put one of several pillows at the head of the bed when I told her I wanted to straighten the top sheet. After I had done that, she picked up a pillow and started to put it on the bed. Then she asked me if that was the way it should be placed. I told her there was a larger pillow that would go on first. She picked it up and placed it. Then she asked if that was the right way. This was one of those little things that happen so often. It struck me that she no longer knew how to arrange the pillows. She had been very particular about that. The large pillows have birds in flight on them. I used to place them the wrong way. She would always correct me. Now she was having to depend on me. She used to make up the bed every day. I remember when she would say, “My mother always said you should make up the bed first thing after you get up.” Three or four years after her diagnosis she rarely made up the bed. I’m not sure what happened, but she started again a couple of years ago. She hasn’t done it as well as she did before, but she does her best. It’s just a little thing, but there are so many of them now.

At dinner, I mentioned something about our having so many good experiences during our marriage. Kate immediately said, “Tell me three things.” Just as quickly, I said, “We had two great children.” She said, “Who are they?” I gave her their names and then went on to some of our travel experiences including our spending a summer in Cali, Colombia when the children were seven and five. That prompted her to talk about giving children experiences that broaden their lives without spoiling them. She felt we had been able to accomplish that.

As we left for home, she said she was very tired and might go to bed shortly after we got there. Then she said, “It may be a little early for bed. I agreed. Then she said, “I can depend on you to help me know what to do.” Then she went into a familiar topic about how comfortable she feels with me. She is beginning to seem more like a little child talking to her parent.

When we got home, she wanted to follow me to the back of the house. She wanted to use the bathroom but didn’t know where to find it. A few minutes later, she used her hand signals to ask if she should sit in her chair in our bedroom where I had put her iPad. I nodded “yes.” It wasn’t long before I said, “I’m glad your my wife.” She responded sternly saying, “I’m not a wife.” I said, “What would you say you are to me?” She said, “A close friend.”

None of these things is new, but it had been a day filled with confusion. It wasn’t like this one year ago.

Reflections on 2018

As we begin this new year, I find myself reflecting on the past and thinking about 2019. Over the past couple of years, I have not been as hopeful as I was in the early years after Kate’s diagnosis. I think that is to be expected. Now we find ourselves in the later stages of Kate’s Alzheimer’s. This means that Kate will continue to decline. As she does, our lives will change as well. The most notable changes in 2018 have involved her memory loss, more confusion, sleeping later in the morning, and her growing dependence on me. All of these have led to corresponding changes in our lives.

Of course, Kate has gradually lost her memory throughout the eight years since her diagnosis in January 2011. For the most part that didn’t seem quite as problematic as it became in 2018. Part of that is psychological. For example, this was the year that she began to forget both my name and hers. More recently, she has begun to have trouble recognizing me as her husband. These changes in memory didn’t make any difference in our being active in the community. We still eat out for lunch and dinner. We continue going to the music nights at Casa Bella as well as attending other musical events in the community and listening to music at home; however, the loss of my name and hers hurts in a way that the memory of others doesn’t. This is a signal that most of her memory is gone. It has a special impact when she can’t remember our names even moments after I tell her, often immediately.

Memory loss is accompanied by greater confusion. This was the year in which she forgot a good bit about our house and the community in which we live. If asked, she couldn’t tell you where we live or where she is at the moment. She often asks me where the bathroom is in our house. She doesn’t know where her clothes are kept. As I have reported, she often thinks we are some other place than our own home. Her normal pattern when we return home is to wait for me to lead her to the back of the house. She also calls out frequently, “Hey, where are you?” when she doesn’t know where to go after going to the bathroom.

The changes in her sleep have had a greater impact on our lives than anything else. Before she started sleeping so late, we were regulars at Panera in the morning. We had gotten to know the people who work there as well as many of the regulars who stop by, not to mention the friends we know from other places that might be there. It was a stimulating experience for both of us. That is all but gone now. Most of the time we don’t leave the house until time for lunch.

The last big change for Kate has been her growing dependence on me. This was the year that I began to play a much larger role in helping her with everything. I am glad that she retains a desire to do things on her own. Just yesterday, she resisted my help with dressing and extending my hand to help her from the car as well as going up and down curbs. I hope this continues a while longer, but she is gradually turning over more and more to me. The most recent big change was accepting help showering and dressing from both of our sitters. I fully expected some resistance.

I don’t know exactly what will happen over the course of the coming year. I do know that she has made significant changes in the past 6-8 months. She is beginning to behave as one would expect of a person with Alzheimer’s. I have to expect more of that in 2019 unless she reaches a plateau. Even if that happens, it won’t be forever. That saddens me, and yet, I continue to be grateful that she has gotten along so well since her diagnosis. I am also hopeful that we will continue to enjoy life and each other even if it is not in the same way as in the past.

Kate and I are not unique in not knowing what lies ahead. The same is true for each of you reading this post. Along with my hopefulness about our own future, I wish each of you the very best in 2019. Happy New Year.

Confusion in the Afternoon

After lunch yesterday, Kate and I spent almost three hours relaxing in our family room. It was a cool overcast day, and I made our first fire of the year. I don’t think we had more than one or two all last winter. I put on some music and began my previous post while Kate worked on her iPad. After two hours, she rested on the sofa though she didn’t go to sleep.

When she got up, we talked about going for an early dinner and how pleasant the afternoon had been. We also talked about all the good times we have had. As so often happens, she then asked my name and our relationship. Once again, she was surprised that we were married.

We talked a little more and then started to walk toward the garage. She stopped and with a puzzled look on her face, she said, “I don’t even know who I am.” I told her I could help her and picked up her “Big Sister Album” that her brother Ken had made for her. I showed her one of her baby pictures and her name. Then I turned to a page with our wedding photos and read the accompanying information to her. She was delighted and wanted to take the album to dinner with us. I suggested we leave it at home and go through it later. When we got home after dinner, she wanted to wait until today.

On the way home, she expressed her confidence in my driving and thanked me for taking such good care of her. I told her that I do it because I love her. I should say that I not only do things to care for her, but I have paid particular attention to cultivating a relationship of trust. I tell her I love her far more than I ever did before Alzheimer’s or even the early years after her diagnosis. I put an emphasis on this about two or three years ago. Prior to that we light-heartedly joked with each other. She was never one to joke, and over time, her jokes began to sound like more serious charges about my trying to control her life. When I noticed that, I backed away from almost all joking with her and adopted the approach of a more loving partner in her journey. I think that has paid dividends as she has become more dependent on me. She still talks about my trying to control more than she would like. She did that last night, but she also is able to say that she knows I do that with good intentions. I sense that she recognizes my desire to help her no matter what happens. I believe that is reflected in her expressions of appreciation that are becoming more frequent. For quite some time, I have said that we are a team and that we face everything together. Sometimes she uses that term when we work together on something. For example, last night I gave her my hand as she got out of the car. When she got up, I said, “You did it.” She said, “We did it. We’re a team.” She occasionally says something similar when I help her get dressed.

As we walked in the house after dinner, she asked what she could do. I told her I would see if there were something on TV that he might enjoy. I also mentioned that she could work puzzles on her iPad. She liked the idea of puzzles. She worked happily until I told her it was time for us to go to bed.

Little Things and the Importance of Intuitive Abilities

Yesterday was another relaxed day and a very nice one. Even though we had no commitments for the day, I got Kate up before she was ready. Our housekeeper was at the house, and I also didn’t want to eat too late in the day. Fortunately, Kate didn’t make a fuss at all about getting up. She responded to me as though she recognized me. She didn’t ask my name or who I am. She gladly accepted my help with dressing although she did most of it by herself.

When we were ready for lunch and about to get in the car, she called to me in a whisper and motioned me to come close to her. It was like she was trying to keep someone from overhearing her although there was no one around. I walked to her, and she whispered in my ear, “What is my name?” I told her. She asked me to repeat it and then said it herself. As I opened the car door, she said, “What’s your name?” When I told her, she said, “I knew that.”

On the way to lunch, I played a CD of familiar show tunes. She sang along with several of them. I was surprised at her memory for the lyrics. She didn’t get them perfectly, but she did a pretty good job. She also surprised me as we left the restaurant. We were about to step off a curb when she said, “Take my hand.” I immediately sang the phrase “Take my hand; I’m a stranger . . .” She finished it by singing “in paradise.” I was surprised again. That’s an old song, and one that we haven’t heard in many years.

Later after we had returned home, she picked up something that belonged to our housekeeper thinking it was ours. I told her it was the housekeeper’s. She said, “My bad.” I don’t ever recall her using that expression before, and it is obviously of a more recent vintage than the old songs she was singing earlier. Once again she had surprised me.

I continue to believe Kate derives a good bit of pleasure from the puzzle pictures themselves as well as the satisfaction of completing them. She often asks me to look at a puzzle after she has finished it and comments about the colors or how cute the animals are. She has two or three that she works over and over. Both of them are pictures of kittens. One is very colorful. Kate like that. She likes the kitten in the other one. This happened several times while we were at Barnes & Noble yesterday afternoon. Her intuitive abilities are alive and well.

After dinner last night, I turned on the last of the Clemson/Notre Dame game and planned to watch the Alabama/Oklahoma game. As so often happens, my plans changed. Normally, Kate works her puzzles until time for her to go to bed. As I have mentioned before, she is encountering a little more frustration with her puzzles now. There have been a number of occasions in the past several weeks that she has simply put down her iPad and sat without doing anything. That is what happened last night. I saw that she had stopped working her puzzles and knew that she needed a break. I suggested that I find a YouTube video with some music. She liked the idea. I found a series of Andrea Bocelli videos that she enjoyed. That was followed by an old “Christmas in Vienna” concert with The Three Tenors. She watched all of it and was thoroughly entertained. That was an hour. It led to several additional videos of Bocelli with other musicians like Lang Lang and Sarah Brightman. Kate was so engaged that she didn’t want to go bed but did so at my urging.

So what about football? The truth is that I didn’t have a stake in either game, so I didn’t consider it a great sacrifice to give them up. In addition, I also enjoyed the music as well as watching Kate being so engaged. I hope that we will be able to enjoy music together for a long time. It’s a pleasure for me to live in the moment with her. It is also another example of how important intuitive abilities are to both of us. They provide moments of joy I did not expect when Kate was diagnosed.

Yesterday Afternoon and Evening

After Mary left yesterday, Kate and I went to Barnes & Noble. She was working puzzles on my iPad since we couldn’t find hers. I think she must have left it in Mary’s car when they went to lunch. Because she was using my iPad rather than her own, she had a different selection of puzzles. This may have confused her. She didn’t know how to start. I opened a display of several puzzles and asked her to choose one. She didn’t know how. I opened one for her. The way the puzzles work is identical to those she has worked on her own iPad, but there have also been occasions when she didn’t know how to open a new puzzle on it as well.

She was unusually talkative. As she worked her puzzles, she repeatedly talked about how nice it is “that they have these things (the iPad and my laptop) while you’re waiting.” She didn’t realize they belonged to us. She acted like she had never seen them before and wanted to know who made them. I was trying to think of a simple answer and said, “Steve Jobs and Apple.” I don’t know why, but she got the impression that I had played a role in the development of “these things.” I tried to tell her that I didn’t have a part at all. I was just explaining who did. Then she said, “But you had a role in helping me understand it.” I appreciated her acknowledging that I help her a lot, but I didn’t want her to underestimate her own talent and receptivity to technology. That led me to  remind her that as a school librarian/media specialist that she was using personal computers (the Apple II) before I did.

She gravitated from the iPad and laptop we were using to the changes in technology that had occurred during our lifetime. She didn’t mention anything specific, but I picked up on her comment and recounted some of the technology that had come on the scene since we were in college. She was quite engaged with the topic. She also kept coming back to how nice it was that “they” (Barnes & Noble) provided the iPads and laptops to people while they are waiting.

When we left Barnes & Noble, It was raining. She thanked me for driving and being so careful. She said she could have done it, but she felt better that I was driving. At dinner, she was very tired but also talkative. She was also in one of her very complimentary moods. She kept thanking me for all the things I do for her. We talked about some of the things we have done during our marriage. She got a little teary. Then she asked, “What’s your name?”

After dinner, I watched the evening news while Kate worked on the iPad. After forty-five minutes, she stopped. She found the puzzles too frustrating. I suggested that I put on a YouTube video with music. I found a Andrea Bocelli concert. She loved it. It saved the evening for her. Prior to that she was feeling low over not being able to work her puzzles and having nothing else to do. She was clearly rejuvenated by the music. She had gotten so keyed up that she no longer felt tired. We went to bed anyway, and, fortunately, she had no trouble going to sleep.

Another Success with the Sitter

I have previously mentioned that Kate’s Monday sitter, Valorie, has been able to help Kate get up, showered, dressed, and to lunch. That was a great step forward for me in that it meant I didn’t have to do that before the sitter arrived. I could let her sleep and know that Valorie would be able to handle everything. There is another benefit for Kate in that I don’t have to rush her to get ready. Neither of us likes that.

Until yesterday, I had not had the opportunity to see if Mary, the Wednesday and Friday sitter, might also be able to assume a similar role for Kate. I wasn’t concerned about Mary’s ability, but I wondered if Kate would be willing for Mary to help with these personal matters. I received a call from the agency on Wednesday asking if we could change the time of Mary’s visit yesterday to 11:00 to 3:00 instead of 1:00 to 5:00. That presented a good opportunity to see how well it might go.

The next step was to see if Kate slept late. She usually does, but she sometimes surprises me by getting up as early as 7:30. As it turned out, Kate slept until thirty minutes before Mary arrived. I got her to the shower. Then she went back to bed. When Mary arrived, I took her into the bedroom to let Kate know that she was there. Mary told Kate to let her know if she could help with anything. Kate said she would. I gave Mary some instructions and left it with her. When I got home, I discovered that everything had worked without a hitch. I specifically asked Mary if she had helped Kate dress. She said she had asked Kate if she would like help, Kate said she did. Then I went back to Kate and asked if Mary had helped her dress. She said, “No. Why should she? I can do that myself.” Although it is possible Kate didn’t want to say that she had help, I believe she just couldn’t remember. After all that had been almost four hours earlier. She often forgets things in seconds or minutes.

Even though it worked well, I may not be calling on Mary to play this role often. The reason is that she doesn’t arrive until 1:00. On most days, Kate is up and dressed before that. On the other hand, she sometimes sleeps until 1:00. There are also times like today when Kate has gotten up and showered, but she is not dressed. Whatever happens I feel good knowing that I can rely on Mary for help.

Getting Back to Normal

As I expected, we had a rather quiet day yesterday. Kate slept until almost 11:00. She was in a good humor and smiled at me when I walked to her bedside. At first, I felt that she must have known me. I asked if she were hungry. She was and wanted her clothes. I pointed them out on the chair right next to the bed. She asked me to help her up. She sat up on the side of the bed. I got her clothes. As she started to dress, she looked up at me and said, “Who are you?” I told her my name. Somewhat hesitantly she said, “Are you my husband?” I told her I was.

When she was ready to go, we went to lunch. The only question I recall her asking was the name of the restaurant. I can’t be sure that she remembered my name and/or that I am her husband. She didn’t ask.

After lunch, we came back to the house where we relaxed almost an hour before going to get our hair cut. Apart from one small incident, she didn’t seem confused. That occurred after the stylist cut her hair, and I took my turn. I had given the iPad to her in the waiting area while I went to the back of the shop. In a few minutes, she came looking for me. She indicated that she didn’t know where she was to go. The stylist told her she could stay in a chair near me or that she could go back to the waiting area. I couldn’t hear exactly what was said, but Kate ended up staying in the waiting area where I had originally left her. I think that she had forgotten where I was and just needed to know.

The rest of the day was rather laid back. We came home and relaxed for a while before going to dinner. When we returned home, I watched the evening news while Kate worked on her iPad. Kate went to bed early but did not go to sleep. I was up later watching the first half of the Baylor/Vanderbilt game. When I got in bed, she was still awake. Much of the time she had been in bed running her fingers through her hair. She said that she was “making progress.” Otherwise, she seemed perfectly normal and didn’t get up at all during the night.

Our Trip Home

Yesterday was a travel day for us. Kate made it easy by waking before 10:00. That allowed us to meet Jesse and her family at 11:30 at Panera to say our goodbyes. We visited while Kate and I had lunch. It was a nice way to end the visit, one that I believe was our last in Memphis.

It was cold and beautiful when we left and throughout the drive back to Knoxville. That made the drive an easy one. In addition, the traffic was not as heavy as I expected. We ran into one trouble spot. It must have been an accident. We were nearing an intersection and noticed two things. The traffic was coming to a stop and that some of the traffic in front of us was exiting the highway. We did the same. We stopped to get something to drink and checked my Waze app. It showed the problem spot and a path around it. We took it, and it worked. I’ve only used Waze a few times before. This time it really helped.

Our only other stop was in Memphis for an early dinner. That added another hour to the trip, but it was good to have a break. Kate didn’t say much on the entire drive home, but she was very relaxed and content.

We don’t have much on our agenda today. We get our hair cut this afternoon. It’s Thursday but not a night for music at Casa Bella. We’ll just relax. That’s probably a good thing.

I have already felt more at ease since being at home. There are always things to attend to with Kate, but they seem to increase when we are traveling. I’m just thankful we were able to make the trip and that it went so well.