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Last Day In Interlaken

Yesterday was another special day. We went paragliding. I had planned for us to make a day trip to Bern, but I had been watching the paragliders float down to the Village Green since our arrival on Monday and wanted both of us to try it. Wednesday night I began to think of paragliding and saving the trip to Bern for the time we are in Zurich. That is what we did. Kate was also interested and never expressed any reservations. It turned out to be a wonderful experience. Each of us went with a separate pilot who asked if we wanted “to do the roller coaster.” What a thrill that turned out to be. Paragliding could well be the highlight of the trip.

One of the behavior changes I have observed in Kate over the past year or so is the use of very large amounts of parmigiana cheese on her Italian food. Last night for the first time, I observed an extreme form of this. After her ravioli was gone, she simply picked up a spoon and ate several spoonfuls directly from the bowl. I did not tell the waitress about this but she could see that it had spaghetti sauce in the bowl with the cheese. Someone had told me she used to carry a card to give to the waiters telling them something that would explain any unusual behavior on the part of her husband who had dementia. I can easily see the need for this in our future.

Something else that I am more mindful of is her need to rest. Although she seems to do well when we are out for long periods of time as we have been the past 3 days, she grabs every chance she gets to lie down. For example, after taking her shower this morning, she immediately got back into bed. She got up in 15-20 minutes and got dressed for breakfast? When we returned to the room, she got back into the bed where she remained for 20-30 minutes. We both packed for our trip to Lucerne and were about to go to the lobby to pass a little time before leaving when she decided to rest a little before going. She is now in bed under the covers.

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Day 3 In Interlaken

I am washing clothes at a laundromat and happy to report that things are going quite well. We have had some rough edges but nothing that has put a damper on the trip. It has meant that at times I have felt frustrated. Two issues: Confusion and Rushing. Kate is unable to do or figure out so many things that I am always trying to see that she gets what she needs. For example, I gave her a ticket for our train trip to Schilthorn yesterday. It has a bar code. You stick the card in a slot, and it is scanned. I showed her where to put the card, but she did it incorrectly two times. She gave it to me and asked me to do it. This is something I should have known and handled without her asking. It seems like I am invariably assuming that she can do things that she can’t do. This frustrates both of us. The hard part is that she doesn’t want my help on most things; so I try not to give it. Then we both discover that I should have helped.

I, of course, correctly attribute this to her AD, but it does not appear that she does. I am not sure this is correct. All I know is that her frustrations in moments like this are with me and not herself.

As expected, I am having to be more careful not to lose her. There have been several instances in which she was momentarily lost. She doesn’t like for me to hold her hand. That would be one way to insure that we stick together. What I do is try to walk beside her or to look back instead of ahead.

One reason that things have gone as well as they have is that we have not been under pressure to meet deadlines. For example, when we have traveled to Jungfrau and to Schilthorn we could simply take the next train or bus rather than worrying about having to be at the station on time. We have been able to do a lot, but we have done it leisurely.

As of this moment, I would say the trip is what I had wanted it to be.

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First Morning in Interlaken

We came back from breakfast. Kate got in the bed and under the covers. She has been there about 20 minutes. I asked if she were ready to go. She said, “In a few more minutes.” She will still have to change clothes to put on something warmer since we are going to Jungfrau. I don’t want to rush her. At the same time, we need to catch a train. Fortunately, there are periodic trains that make the trip.

This is just another indication that traveling will soon be a thing of the past. We have planned a June trip to New York with our daughter and her two boys and our son and his younger son. I wonder how that will go in NYC.  Since this will be a first trip for the grandchildren, there will be many things to do. I suspect she will be up for it. Our next trip after that will be Chautauqua. That should be relaxing.

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Interlaken

This morning we take the train to Interlaken. I am feeling more like myself this morning. Yesterday afternoon I was down. Though I am not a moody person, I do find that my mood can change depending on what is going on with Kate. I remember the same thing happening with my Dad. When he was having a bad day, it affected me.

As we were returning to the hotel yesterday afternoon, I suggested to Kate that she start packing her suitcase so that we wouldn’t be rushed this morning. She immediately reacted negatively to my suggestion and said, “Or tonight after dinner.” I then said, “But you never want to pack after dinner.” That was something I shouldn’t have said. It reflected a feeling that I was doing everything I could to make the trip go smoothly for her, and she wasn’t willing to do this one thing to help me help her. Even in the midst of this, I know clearly that the Alzheimer’s prevents her from looking at things logically. Nevertheless, I find it frustrating.

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Geneva

I am feeling much better today than yesterday morning when I felt that I was having to work too hard to make the trip a good one and that it was not paying off. Simply visiting St. Peter’s Cathedral where Calvin was the preacher in the mid-1500s, having a nice lunch in the old town, and then going to Annecy made the day. Kate loved it. We did it leisurely.

At the moment we are taking a break at the room after going to Starbucks for breakfast and stopping by the train station to confirm the schedule to Montreaux tomorrow. Kate needs the breaks. This is not something that has occurred just here but also in the U.S.

While I feel good now, the trip has confirmed my opinion that we can’t do this again. I’m not even sure that a cruise would work though I am not ready to rule it out. I will first have to see how the summer trips to NYC and Chautauqua go as well as the Christmas trip to Texas.

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Recognition of Short-term Memory Problem

Yesterday as we were walking to our car from church, we stopped to talk with a couple. When we had finished, Kate asked me who they were. I told her their first names. Before I could say the last name, she said their last name. Then she said, “My memory is shot.” She clearly recognizes what is happening. I hate for her to suffer in this way, but I think it will be even worse for me when she is not aware.

At 6:00 last night, I went out to let her know it was time to come in so that we could go to dinner. She got up (she was on the ground) right away and started to follow me back to the house. I went inside. After 15 minutes, I hadn’t heard her come in; so I went outside and saw that she was working in a flower bed in the back of the house. It turns out that she hadn’t remembered that she was coming inside to go to dinner.

She came in and took a shower. In a little while she walked into the family room dressed for bed. I asked if she had changed her mind about our going out to dinner. It turns out that she hadn’t remembered that. She changed, and we went out to eat.

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Saturday

Last night while we were having dinner, Kate said, “You know, my memory is getting worse.” I told her I had observed that and noticed that she had seemed a little discouraged. I also told her that she had gotten along so well and that we were still able to enjoy so many things. She agreed. She also commented that although her friend, Ellen,  knows, “no one else would know.” She went on to say that she still was not ready to tell the children. She also said she would know when it was time and that she would let me know ahead of time.

I found this especially interesting in light of this week’s experience in which she accepted without any suspicion my awareness of her PEO meeting and plans for her to meet her PEO sisters for the trip to Sevierville. Clearly this lack of suspicion is a direct result of the progression of the disease.

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Friday

Last night I went to a dinner and auction in conjunction with a golf tournament sponsored by our foundation. I took Kate to Chalupas for a bite to eat before leaving. She had been resting in the bedroom since she had gotten back from her PEO meeting yesterday afternoon. That is quite unusual in that the weather was beautiful which meant it was a good time to work in the yard. While we were at dinner, she told me once again that she was ignored by the people she went with. I am afraid this is going to be a common experience. It is so sad. She wants to be a part, but I know that people can’t help it. They simply don’t understand.

Last night at my dinner I told someone about Kate. She was shocked. She had only learned in the past week about the wife of someone else who has served with us on the foundation board. This means the circle of my acquaintances who know about Kate is gradually expanding. I can see that as the year moves along considerably more people will know. I just hope that there won’t be so many that Kate has the same experiences with them that she is now having with her PEO sisters.

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Thursday

Today’s Kate went to her PEO chapter’s meeting. This was just a social and not a regular meeting. I had gotten an email reminding me of the meeting 3 weeks ago. Kate had also received an email (at least I assume so), but she had never mentioned it to me. In order to prevent her awareness that I am communicating with a couple of her PEO sisters about things like this, I simply mentioned this to her a week or so ago as though it were something that she might have told me. She never questioned how I knew. I reminded her yesterday that she would be going today. She asked me what time we were going but nothing else. I told her I was going to take her to our church where she would meet someone who would take her to the meeting. She showed no surprise that I knew this. When we arrived, she got out of the car while one of her sisters came over to speak with me about making arrangements to get her back home. I noticed that she didn’t say much to but gave me more attention as if to say that Kate doesn’t really understand, I’ll tell Richard. After they returned, Kate said that the people in the car are big talkers and that she had a hard time getting in to say anything. I suspect that what is happening is that people are beginning to treat her as though she doesn’t understand. In other words, they are treating her in the very way that Kate has been concerned about. That is why she hasn’t wanted people to know. Things like this make me feel for her.

When she got home, she seemed tired. She has been in the bed ever since. Some of that time she has been working jigsaw puzzles on her iPad, but she has also slept. That is what she is doing now. I am about to get her up to take her to dinner. I have a dinner at the convention center this evening in connection with my responsibilities at the foundation. I think the social activity of the day has worn her out, another sign of Alzheimer’s.

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Preparations for the Music Club Going Well

I think we are in good shape for the music club tomorrow night. We had someone put out all the mulch in all the flower beds. It looks much better now.  The weather has put a little damper on Kate’s work in the yard. I am glad of that except that it provides entertainment for her. In fact, she really needs it. Over the past few months (even this morning) I have heard her mention being bored. I feel like we are pretty active, but the truth is there still is a lot of time during the day when she could be doing something. Since the Alzheimer’s doesn’t enable her to do the things she used to do, filling this time is becoming something of a problem.

I did discover something that may help her. She gets tired and generally goes to bed as early as 8:30, sometimes earlier. I created a queue of old movies that I believe she would enjoy seeing, but she goes to sleep shortly after they start. What I have been doing is just showing the movie in segments over several nights. Even then, she isn’t really watching the movie. The most recent movie we watched is To Catch a Thief with Cary Grant and Grace Kelley, two stars she loves. One afternoon this week I asked her if she would like to watch the movie. She did, and we did. I think it was the first movie we have watched all the way through on a single showing. That filled up a good 90 minutes. If I could arrange for more movies, we would be in good shape, at least for a while. Of course, some of these would need to be streamed.

One other reason I feel we are in good shape for the music club is that Libby came yesterday and helped us clean up the patio and garage as well as some of the other places in the house that she might have missed when she was hear Tuesday or things we had messed up since then. I also moved the furniture so that we are ready for the folding chairs that are to be delivered tomorrow afternoon.