Yesterday was a Monday which is usually a routine kind of day. Here’s what actually happened. I got up and went to the Y as usual. Before leaving, I asked Kate what time she was to meet our neighbor to go for a walk. She told me 9:00 a.m. I reminded her that we had a funeral service at 11:00 and that she should meet me at the office at 10:30.
I received a call from her shortly after 10:00 asking if I could come home to get her instead of her meeting me at the office. I told her I would do so. When I got home she was quite flustered, and I told her to relax. She asked how long we had before leaving. I said, “Seven to 8 minutes.” Back into panic mode. She was also upset that she couldn’t find her slip. She remarked that she couldn’t ever remember where she put things. This is once again a reminder that the person with AD experiences much frustration and probably a lot of frustration that is never recognized by other people – even someone as close as a husband. I see the frustration on occasions like this, but I am confident there are many more that I never recognize, many of them that occur when I am not around or that she doesn’t mention.
We got away in about 10 minutes. I put on the second movement of Brahms violin concerto. I consider it one of the most relaxing pieces of music I know. I asked if she had taken her walk, and she said she didn’t want to talk about it right then – that she might feel comfortable talking about it later.
We got to the church in time. Before leaving I thought it might be good if we went to lunch together instead of my going to Rotary at 1:00. She liked that. At lunch, she asked if she could have a glass of wine, and I said yes. We both had a glass. We took our time before going to the buffet. During that time she told me that she had called the neighbor to tell her she would need to take a shorter walk in order to get to the funeral. The neighbor told her to come by her house to get her. Kate couldn’t find her house and then got confused about how to get back home; so she never got to walk. She called her when she finally got back home.
At any rate we turned the whole thing around into a very special time for the two of us. We had a leisurely meal in a quiet place and let the worries drift away.
Other things were also going on this day. I had received a call from a hospital client on Friday asking me if I would interview 4 patients who had undergone bariatric surgery. I agreed to do so. My contact was to email me right after we spoke with information on the location for Tuesday morning (today) as well as an agenda for the interviews. I still had not heard from her when I left the office around 10:15 am. Late in the afternoon I picked up an email sent at 1:00 with location and times. Even later I got the interview guide.
In addition, I had talked with the admissions office at Mountain Valley on Friday about moving Dad from Hall 100 to Hall 200. She was supposed to call me yesterday morning. I called her, and she said she would get “right back” with me. She never called. I called near 3:00 p.m.The person with whom I had sphad gone for the day. The person I spoke with this time agreed to let me make the move even though the staff that handles moving would be gone for the day.
I went to Mountain Valley right away and took care of the move. It went smoothly. Dad has a new roommate that may work out better than the one he left simply because the old one stayed in the bathroom for an hour or more at a time. The new roommate appears to be a dementia patient who is not communicative.
Dad, by the way, has not fully recovered from his fall a couple of weeks ago. He seems more confused and less like himself. He is eating reasonably well and is able to talk with you all right except for not hearing well.
On top of all this I am also mentally preparing for 8 weekly meetings with a small group I am leading at the church. We start tomorrow night. This will not be hard. It is simply a responsibility that I am not too eager to undertake at this time.