I have sometimes said that the job of an Alzheimer’s caregiver involves two things. One is to prevent problems. The other is to solve them. To do this well calls for a good understanding of the person for whom you care. Ordinary life has led us to search for explanations for just about everything. Some things are easy. For example, if you know that your loved one is cold, you can turn up the heat or add blankets or warm clothing. Most of the time caregivers are able to find the right explanation. Other times, we don’t. That makes me think of Kate’s salivation problem. For about a year and a half, she has almost given up swallowing saliva. Instead, she uses napkins or a variety of paper products to wipe the saliva from her lips. When nothing is available she simply wipes the saliva with her hands or her clothing. I have now consulted three different physicians who have offered several possible ways to address the problem without success. They don’t know why this is happening.
The salivation issue is an unusual one, but there are numerous other things that dementia patients do that are not easily explained. For example, why would Kate hide her iPad in the back of the coat closet in our laundry room? Why would she put her underwear on a shelf in her closet where she keeps her shoes? Why would she put her pill box on the next-to-the-top shelf in our bathroom where it is a challenge to reach? The fortunate thing is that these things are harmless. They just cause a problem when you can’t find what you are looking for.
There are other things that do no harm but are inappropriate in one way or another. Some time ago, perhaps a couple of years, Kate started putting or two or occasionally three tops on when one would do. That in itself is no problem. Layering is often recommended to keep warm in cold weather. Layering could also be done as a fashion statement. Sometimes Kate’s choices could pass for that. Typically, however, they involve multiple tops that don’t match or complement one another in color or style. I never recall her doing this before Alzheimer’s.
This afternoon she did something else for which I have no explanation. Kevin had called. After a few minutes, Kate hung up her phone. It wasn’t long before she came into the kitchen where I was. She was carrying two different tops and an 8 x 10 picture frame containing pictures of our twin grandchildren. She walked outside. When we went to dinner tonight, I noticed that she had put them in the back seat of the car. For the first time, I noticed that she had also put some underwear with them.
For quite a few years, she has brought home left over food items from our restaurant meals. She brought them home in a paper napkin. Originally, these went into the compost. Over time she has forgotten about the compost. Now she frequently just brings our used napkins home. Before we get home, she tears the napkins in smaller pieces. When she gets out of the car, she throws the napkins into a basket on her side of the car. Over time the basket is overflowing with napkins. Then our housekeeper empties them into the garbage, and the process starts all over again. Oh, how I would like to know what is going on in her brain when these things occur.
