I have often said that we worry about lots of things that never happen while we are surprised by things that we never anticipated. That certainly applies to the first full visit of our sitter for Kate.
Kate went outside about ten minutes before the sitter was to arrive at 1:00. I told her that I was going to the Y and asked if she remembered Brittany who came to our house the other day. She didn’t remember at all. I would have been surprised if she had. Then I told her that Brittany would be here while I was gone. Kate asked why she was coming. I told her what I had said before her visit on Wednesday. I told her that I was just feeling bad about leaving her alone when I go out. Then without any coaxing she said okay. I was thrilled. It was so much easier than I had expected. I had worried about something that didn’t happen. At the same time, I interpreted this as another indication of the progression of her illness. I told her I wanted to give her a hug before I left. I did so and told her I loved her. I held her tight and tears welled up in my eyes. We kissed. Then she went outside to her yard.
The sitter arrived a little late (1:06 instead of 1:00). I started to tell her that I was a stickler for time, but I decided not to make anything of it. I could just wait and see if it is a habit. Kate was working in a flower bed in the back yard. I thought that worked out well so that I could show Brittany around the house and tell her a little more about my expectations. I reminded her that Kate has no short-term memory and would not remember her. I also told her that I thought the most important thing she could do was to make friends with Kate, “just get acquainted with her and also let her know more about yourself.” I told her that Kate could stay outside as long as she likes but to keep an eye on her.
It was 1:30 before I left for the Y. I left there at 3:45 and went to a Panera store in a different location from the one we usually visit. I did so to buy a gift card for the sitter to use if they went there sometime while I was gone. It was almost 4:30 when I got home. Brittany was sitting in the family room watching TV. She told me Kate was still outside. I looked and noticed that she was in almost the same place as when I left. That is the longest Kate has spent outside since the spring when the weather was cooler. Today is one of the most pleasant days we have had.
I went to the bedroom to take my gym clothes out of the bag and put them in the clothes hamper. Then I went to the closet and opened my top drawer to return the Y membership card that I had taken out of the drawer right before I left for the Y. I noticed that the top drawer was in more disarray than usual. I can’t claim that it is usually or ever neat, but I know where things are and can see them pretty easily. At first, I wondered if I could have messed up the arrangement of things in the draw that much when I took the Y card out. Then I opened the top draw to the right of the one where I keep my keys, wallet, and some cards. When I opened that drawer, I immediately saw that the contents were very differently arranged than usual. I use a microfiber cloth to clean my glasses. I keep it on top of the other things. It is a good size cloth and covers almost the full width of the drawer. I could only see a trace of it under several envelopes and cards. It was obvious that someone had gone through the contents. The last time I opened the drawer was yesterday morning. I went into the family room where Brittany was watching TV. I asked if she was sure that Kate had not come inside while I was gone. She said she was. Then I asked if she could have gone into two of my dresser drawers. She said she hadn’t. I didn’t push it. I didn’t expect her to say she had. It was still about 15 minutes before time for her to leave. I told her she could go. Then I went back to the bedroom to see if there were any other unusual things. The only thing I noticed was that a top drawer to Kate’s dresser was pulled out slightly. I think Kate has completely forgotten about having anything in it, and I have never opened that drawer at all.
I can’t be sure that Brittany was the one who got into the dresser drawers. It is possible that Kate had done it. I just think that is very unlikely. I have known her to go into one of the other drawers that has socks in it, but not the top two drawers. Despite not being sure that Brittany did it, I just didn’t feel comfortable having her back again. I called the agency immediately. They apologized and jumped right on a replacement for Monday. They seemed very pleased with this person who has worked with them a while. They said that everyone has liked her, and the person for whom she had been carring had died and would probably be available on a permanent basis. I shall look forward to meeting her on Monday.
