We got back around 8:30 New Year’s Eve from a successful trip to Texas. Since then we have been gradually getting back to normal. As always, Kate is enjoying being at home. She has been busying herself getting all the Christmas decorations put away. She has also been putting order into her closets and rooms. Not sure what motivated this, but it is nice to see.
Close to lunch time I asked if she would like to see The Danish Girl. She indicated she would. We went to Panera. Then we drove downtown for the movie. As we arrived downtown, she asked, “Did you need to do something downtown?” I told her that we were going to the movie. She hadn’t remembered that I had told her we were going there. This is not simply an illustration of her forgetfulness but mine as well. It is quite possible that I had not reminded her that we were going to a movie during or after lunch despite the fact that I know she can’t remember from my telling her before lunch. It is amazing how often I fail to remember that she can’t remember. I think it is because so much of her behavior seems quite normal that it reinforces my responding to her as though she is normal.
Following a movie yesterday afternoon, we went to A store next to the theater. Kate was looking for gloves. She was not happy with the fact that the ones she liked had a logo on the upper side. I asked her if she would like me to take her to Belk to look. She said, “”No.” As we were approaching home, she said, “”I think I would like to go by Belk’s.” This is the kind of thing that is often a bit frustrating for me in that I would have gone a more direct way to Belk’s had she decided earlier. I told her I would be happy to do that, and we went. Right away she found a pair of gloves that she liked. They were very much like the ones she had just bought but without the logo. I held those gloves for her while she looked at some others. She found a pair of dressier, leather gloves that she liked. She wanted to get both. When I mentioned the gloves she had just bought , she had forgotten getting them. She said she would only get the leather gloves. On the way home she said she would put them in her leather jacket (which she was wearing) so that she would know where to find them. This afternoon when we were about to leave for lunch, she couldn’t find the gloves but did find the more casual ones. We have a lot of this kind of thing.
Last night she said she would go to church with me this morning. She got to bed at 9:00 or shortly thereafter. This morning I got up at 5:40. I left for a walk at 6:45. When I returned about 7:30, I could see that she had eaten some yogurt. When I went to the bedroom, she was still in bed. At 8:30, she was still in bed. I asked if she still wanted to go with me to church or stay at home. She asked if I would mind if she stayed at home. I assured here that it did not matter to me. She chose to remain at home. I told her that would return home after Sunday school and take her to lunch. I got home at 11:20. She was up but not dressed. I said, “”Oh, you’re not ready.” That was the wrong thing to say. I knew it the minute it came out of my mouth. I try to be more careful than this, but I am far from perfect. This was a frustration for me because I had rushed home so that we could get to lunch before the crowd. She was irritated with me and told me she would have to take a shower. I went into the bedroom and watched a portion of a recorded program of CBS Sunday Morning. After an hour or so, Kate came into the bedroom where I was watching TV. She held out her iPad and said, “I found it.” I could tell that she thought I had known that she had misplaced it but simply said, “”Good.” It looked like she was close to being ready; so I went into the kitchen and started to enter this particular post on my laptop. I didn’t get very far. It ended up that we didn’’t leave the house until 12:50 which was 1 ½ hours after I had gotten home from church. She reached her hand over and put it on my leg as we were driving. I took this as her way of saying, “I’m sorry for making you wait.”
We had a pleasant lunch and talked more than usual. As we were driving home from lunch, I said, “”Well, you found your iPad.” She then said that I was cute last night. She went on to explain that when she had asked me where my iPad was that I said, “Where you put it.” In actuality, she had never told me the iPad was missing. As I recall she had been using it in bed up until she turned in for the night. Obviously, she had misplaced it this morning. She just imagined that this had happened last night and that she had asked me about it. I am wondering if this is going to be a regular occurrence from now on.
All in all, our trip went well, and we are off to a good start on the New Year. I feel good about how she will get along on the trip. I will need to watch the pacing of our activities. I will try to avoid early morning excursions to give her time to go back to bed after she gets up and has breakfast. I am approaching the cruise with the mindset that we don’t have to meet any schedule unless she is up to it. So far I haven’t signed up for any excursions. I will probably do so for the first morning we are in port as a test for how it goes.
Throughout the trip she got plenty of time to nap in the morning and the afternoon. I suspect this is going to become more common in the months ahead.
