Sometimes it’s hard to be independent.

I’ve mentioned in other posts that Kate is becoming increasingly dependent on me. While she is accepting and requesting my help, there are still plenty of occasions when she prefers to do things on her own. It is especially difficult for me to judge whether or not she wants help is when she is going up or down stairs or curbs. It seems like half the time she does and half the time she doesn’t. I try to handle this by standing in front of her ready to give her a hand if she wants it. If she is behind me when we approach a curb, I often hear her say, “Hand.” Then I turn and extend my hand. Just as often, I extend my hand when she hasn’t asked only to have her refuse to take it.

It is similar with her clothes. Increasingly, she wants my help, but many times she doesn’t. Yesterday morning in Chapel Hill, I had put her clothes out for her. When she started to get dressed, I told her to let me know if she needed my help with anything. She wanted to do it without my help. In a few minutes, she was about to put on her pants. She had trouble determining the front from the back. That caused her to ask me to check to see that she had it right. She didn’t. She thanked me. Then she proceeded on her own. At one point, she got her foot stuck in the pants leg. She had to ask for my help. I am glad that when this happens, she doesn’t seem to be irritated with herself for not being able to take care of it by herself. On the other hand, she often makes reference to her making mistakes. She is very conscious of the problems she has handling many daily activities. I am sure that is what leads her to thank me so often for taking care of her. She is very appreciative, and that goes a long way to reinforce my desire to help.