Yesterday my brother, Larry, who lives in Birmingham dropped by on his way to his farm near Rogersville. This was the first time we had seen him in six months or more. For that reason, I was particularly interested in Kate’s memory of him. As she has done for other family members, she has asked me his name on several occasions. When he arrived, she didn’t get right up and greet him, but she did appear to recognize him. We had a nice conversation for a short while before leaving for the restaurant. As we walked out to the car, Kate pulled me aside and whispered, “Is he my brother?” I said, “He’s my brother, Larry.” We went on to the restaurant where we had a nice meal and good conversation. Nothing happened that would suggest that Kate’s memory was as poor as it is.
Before Larry left for his hotel last night, we decided to meet him at Panera this morning. As Kate and I left for Panera, I reminded her that we were meeting my brother. She said, “What’s his name?” I told her. Almost immediately, she asked again. I told her again. Then she repeated it several times. She works so hard to remember things, but her brain just won’t retain the information. I doubt that she remembers our having dinner together last night.
She got along fine this morning. The only obvious sign of her Alzheimer’s occurred when we were talking about young people and college. This related to Larry’s saying he had a number of friends whose children started in one college and changed to another. Kate indicated she had done that. Larry asked her where she had gone before TCU. She couldn’t remember. She said she thought it was someplace in Arkansas. It was really Oklahoma.
The visit with Larry is one of the few times that I was definitely aware that she was having difficulty remembering a family member. I don’t mean just forgetting a name. She has often done that with grandchildren. In this case, when she initially saw Larry she didn’t recognize him and thought he might be her brother, Ken. That suggests that she would probably have difficulty recognizing her brother as well. I had been considering another trip to Texas to see him knowing that could easily be her last trip back home. The experience with Larry encourages me to start making plans for a visit. Time is running out.
