This morning at Panera, Kate and I met with the social worker from the agency that is going to provide in-home care. I had arranged for the social worker to arrive after Kate so that we could make it appear to be a chance encounter. This worked beautifully. I saw her when I got up to get a cup of coffee and brought her back to the table where Kate was seated. I had left the seat across from Kate open for the social worker. I introduced Kate to her and told her that she and Marilyn had something in common. Then Marilyn explained that she had been the social worker at the primary care practice where Kate goes and where Kate’s mother and my parents had gone. That led into a very natural conversation. Marsha was with us about 30 minutes before leaving.
The agency that will provide the care requires an interview the person who will receive care before they assign a caregiver. At first, I had wondered how to explain this to Kate without saying that I was getting ready to bring in someone to care for her. Then I thought it would be natural for us to have this kind of meeting at Panera. It was like so many others we have there. It turned out to be a good idea.
The next step, of course, is to explain the presence of a caregiver. I have been struggling with this, but Kate has been increasingly accepting of whatever I do. I think that I may be able to tell her truthfully that I don’t like to leave her alone and thought that she might like to have someone with her who could be a companion and also help her with anything she needs. I may mention some help organizing clothes. It would be wonderful if she and Kate could work together to sort through the things that she is not likely to wear any more and organize her closet with just those things that she will wear. We are scheduled to have the first visit on September 6 after Labor Day. That gives me time to talk with the social worker again and to think through the best way to make this transition.
Although I am concentrating on making this go well for Kate, I am also mindful of the transition for me. This is a big step symbolically. In addition, I have enjoyed and become adjusted to being her sole caregiver. That will be hard to sacrifice, especially since I am not doing this to relieve the stress of caregiving. It is more an effort to make me feel comfortable when I need to be away from the house. For example, this will enable me to continue going to the Y, to Rotary, the grocery etc. I am confident that she and I will adjust. It is just a big step.
