Now that we have been home from our cruise a full week, I feel even more strongly that it is easier for me to take care of Kate here than on a big trip like our trip to Switzerland last May or the cruise we just finished. This isn’t because her symptoms are any less. It is because neither of us has to think about as many deadlines. In addition, I think the fact that we are in our own home where there is a certain degree of comfort means less stress for both of us. In some respects this seems obvious. After all at any point in our lives, we find that we have more adjustment to changes while we travel as opposed to staying at home. On the other hand, I had thought that being on a cruise would be easier than it was because we (I) knew (1) the meals were taken care of and (2) that there were opportunities for many diversions to address Kate’s boredom and (3) the ship offered attractive places for us to relax. All of that is true, but her Alzheimer’s has reached the point at which none of these things seems to have great appeal. I have not contacted the cruise line to cancel our trip in May, but I intend to do so this coming week.
Here are a couple of experiences today that illustrate where we are at this point. Each Saturday morning I work on my Sunday school lesson. After taking my morning walk and checking email, I prepared myself to take care of my lesson. As I started, I heard her call for me. I went to the back of the house. She was heading my way dressed in sweat pants that a church friend had given to me because they the legs were too long for him. She also had a sweat shirt on over another shirt. This is the kind of attire that she typically wears when she is outside; so I made the assumption that she was on her way to work in the yard. Then she asked, “Where are we going?” I asked her if she wanted to go someplace. She said she wanted to go to Panera. I told her that would be fine and asked if she wanted to change clothes. She said, “No.” I told her I would need a moment to get ready. She said that would be fine and went outside. When I was ready (in a few minutes), I went outside to ask if she wanted to take her computer as well as her iPad. She said she would; so I went back in the house and got both for her. I also got cups for both of us.
After we had been at Panera for about 10-15 minutes, she said she was ready to go. She hadn’t even gotten her computer and/or iPad out of the case. I told her that would be fine, and we went back home where she immediately started working in the yard. At 12:30, I went out to get her for lunch. She was surprised at the time and said she would be right in. When she hadn’t come in by 12:50, I looked out the kitchen window and saw her sitting down on the ground working in the flower bed along the drive way. I went out again. It appeared that she never remembered I had been out before because she was surprised again at the time of day. She came in 10 minutes later.
