Last night we were going out to eat. As I was getting ready, I thought about Kate’s new clothes that we bought several months ago and that she has not been wearing. (I think she simply doesn’t remember she has them.) I called to her and went to her bathroom where she was starting to get ready. When I called she answered with irritation. She wanted to know what I wanted. Before I could begin to explain, I could see that she was breathing more heavily than normal and appeared stressed. She went on to say she just wanted to be ready on time and that she was having to work so hard to please me. She walked away from me. I spoke to her in a gentle voice so as not to further aggravate her and told her that I was just thinking she might want to see if her new clothes would be something she would want to wear. Then I left to get ready myself. When she had dressed, it turns out that she found a new dress and jacket. She looked great. She was also in a good humor.
This experience was the most striking example of the stress she experiences when we are going places. It was more than just a panic attack this time. It was almost as if she were frightened of me as if I was going to abuse her. This frightened me. The last thing I want is for her to think of me as her master. I will write more later to explain that earlier in the day we had had an experience buying more plants in which I had been bothered, and she picked up on it.
