This week we have experienced two near crises. I’ll mention the second one first because it is the one that scared me. First, is the background. Kate had a dental implant on Wednesday morning (today is Thursday). She was sedated and continued on pain medication through 10:00 pm that evening. We were prepared for her to feel pain yesterday as well. As it turns out, I had arranged to be at the foundation at 8:30 am yesterday morning before I realized that Kate had a PEO luncheon. She was to meet Shirley Hazel at her house at 11:00. Since I was going to be gone, I prepared 2 sets of medications (1 for 10 o’clock; the other for noon – if needed). I put them in 2 separate sandwich bags with written instructions on each one. I also set her GPS to direct her to Phyllis’s house. In addition, I checked to make sure her driver’s license and ATM card were in the console in her car where we have agreed she needs to keep them.
I finished my meeting just before 10:30 and placed a call to her to make sure she had not forgotten to get ready to meet at Phyllis’s house. She sounded hurried but indicated she was going to make it. I arrived home at 11:59 and was surprised (I don’t know why by now) to see that her car was still in the garage. As I started to go inside, I saw that she was getting ready to leave. She was in a dither, got her purse, and rushed to the car.
About 15 minutes later, she called to say the GPS had her turn on the wrong street and didn’t know where to go. I guided her over the phone. About 20 minutes later I got a call saying she was there. A few minutes after that I received a call from one of her other PEO sisters who was the driver for the the car Kate was to go in. She said they had waited but finally had left and were at the restaurant where the luncheon was being held. After we hung up, I called Kate and told her they were already at the restaurant,and that I would be right over to take her there. I did so, and she got there around 12:30.
When it was time for me to go to visit Dad (around 3:30), she was still not home. I began to worry. I sent her a text asking where she was but got no response. That is not too surprising since I knew that she would have her phone turned off. When I reached Mountain Valley, I called her at home and her cell and got no answer. While visiting Dad, I called a couple of other times. Finally, I called one of her PEO sisters just before 5:00. She said that they had gotten back about 3:30 and that Kate was fine. I decided to head home.
As I left, I called home, and she answered. She seemed quite glad to hear from me and asked if I were coming home. I told her I was on the way. I reminded her that we were supposed to be at a church supper at 5:30. She had forgotten and was disappointed. After we hung up, I called back and told her we didn’t need to go to the church supper. She asked me to just come home which I did.
When I arrived home, she was lying down on the love seat on the patio. I went out to talk with her. Actually, I was proud of myself. I never asked her where she had been or what had happened. In fact, I didn’t ask her anything. I just sat with her, told her I loved her, and asked if she would like to go to Hathaway’s for dinner. She gladly accepted the offer. We went out to dinner, came home, and she went to bed. We still have not discussed what happened and may not. I have learned that when she is ready to talk, she will let me know. Had I asked her, she would have said, “Let’s not talk about it now.” That is a very frequent response.
This particular event disturbed me because it made me realize how much she has deteriorated. While I was home that morning, I found 1 of the 2 sandwich bags with the pain medication she was to take at 10:00. The good news is that she didn’t need it. In addition, I gave her a 20 dollar bill when she left. By the time I picked her up, she couldn’t find it. Third, it made me realize that it may be getting dangerous for her to be driving. I think I am going to need to take her everywhere except those places she knows very well.
The other event is minor in comparison but was an emotional one for both of us. She has been working on the invitation to Dad’s 100th birthday party for at least 2 months. I have reminded her that I wanted to mail them out today or tomorrow (and we will make it) and that we needed to get the invitation ready. Each time she started to finish it, she would change something. It simply wasn’t getting done. Furthermore, she would forget about it and not work on it until I would set aside some time when I was home for the two of us to work on it.
Finally, on Monday evening I said we had to get it done that night. She wanted to continue editing. I told her just to leave it. This really hurt her feelings. She has wanted this to be her baby, but she recognized that she couldn’t get it done and resented my pushing. We went out to dinner, and all was well. The truth is I felt if I wasn’t stern, we wouldn’t get it done. This portends other things to come although the only reason this was critical was we were working together and I had a deadline. Most of her other things (the yard) don’t have a deadline. That’s a really good thing.
