This past Friday we celebrated our 50th anniversary. I spent most of the day with Kate, and we went out to dinner that evening. This entire week we have reflected on the things we have experienced together. Our relationship continues to be special. Although it has always been good, it has taken on a different nature since Kate’s diagnosis. As I expressed before, I wish that I had been able to respond to her before the diagnosis the way I have since. I have been significantly more understanding and , thus, accepting. Many little things that annoyed me before (for example, the way she loads the dishwasher) I simply accept now.
This is also to underscore that many of the things that I attribute to Alzheimer’s are things that were manifest earlier. They are just significantly worse now. One example would be the fact that when she opens a pack of sugar substitute, she leaves it on the counter rather than putting it in the trash which is immediately below where she dropped it.
I continue to observe that she accepts her dependence on me. She wants me to help her with most of her tasks (PEO, neighborhood, calls to people, etc.). I acknowledge that this puts some degree of stress on me, but it is quite manageable right now. I know the future will be different. Adding to this is care for Dad. He celebrates his 100th birthday on Oct. 19. We begin to act as though he will live forever. While I know this is not so, he could live long enough to complicate my care for both of them. I suspect, however, that it will work out. By that I mean that he will pass away before Kate reaches a point at which she requires constant attention.
