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Happy Valentine’s Day

I didn’t need a special holiday to celebrate our bouncing back from the flu. It is enough just to feel better. Today is clearly our best day in almost two weeks.
First, let me follow up on my previous post. In that one, I commented on the fact that Kate had not been in a good mood up until near dinner time. I am glad to say that she cheered up at dinner. She takes special pleasure in going to Chalupas where we eat on Monday nights. As I have described elsewhere, it is an especially friendly place where she feel very comfortable.

After that, we came back to the house where we adjourned to the bedroom where I watched the evening news, and she worked on her iPad. That has come to be a very good time of the day for us. We are both relaxed and without any obligations and know that we can go to bed any time we want.
Yesterday was a good catch up day. The only item on our agenda was haircuts at 3:00. Kate was up much earlier yesterday; so we arrived at Panera early. We stayed there about an hour and then came back to the house for another hour before going to lunch. After lunch, she was tired. She rested until time for haircuts. It was a quiet day but a nice one.

Today the sitter is coming again. I had cancelled last Wednesday and Friday because of the flu. I will go to the Y and then have coffee with Mark. We’ll have a Valentine’s dinner at 5:30 since they are booked up later. It should be another nice day.

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Still Recovering from the Flu

We continue to make incremental steps forward in our recovery; however that isn’t the most important thing about which I’d like to comment. That relates to her mood today. She has been a little depressed, something that I don’t see that often. Part of the reason it made an impression on me is that she had a very good night’s sleep. She got up close to noon on Saturday and 11:00 yesterday. Today, I finally woke her up at 12:20. I didn’t rush her. She got up slowly, and we didn’t get to Panera until 2:00. Earlier this morning, I decided not to go to Rotary and to cancel the sitter. I think I did the right thing.

When she was ready, she was not cheerful. I didn’t think much about that at first. She is often not ready to engage in conversation when she gets up. She needs a little time. We were at Panera about an hour before I looked across the table and noticed that she was looking bored. I knew she was ready to go home. I asked to make sure, and she confirmed my suspicions.

It was about 3:15 when we arrived home. Recognizing that she was a little depressed, I asked if she would like to work in the yard. It’s not a beautiful day, but the temperature is warmer than we have had in a while. She indicated that she did not. I suggested that we might find a movie on TV or Netflix and watch it. She said okay without any enthusiasm. While she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, I explored movies. I suggested an old Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn movie. She indicated she didn’t want to watch a movie. I asked if she would like to look at some of our old photos from or past travels. She didn’t want that either. Then I gave her the iPad and told her to work on it in the family room, and I would find something. I found some old family photos her father had taken along with a couple of albums of our own and took them to the family room.

I sat down beside her and told her I wanted to show her something. I gave her the album with her father’s photos and let her look through them while I watched along with her. She enjoyed seeing them and took her time moving from one page to another. I was feeling good.

When she finished, I said, “Now let me show you something else.” I reached for a box of photos of our own and was going to show them to her. She said, “Do we have to do this now?” I told her no. I had already put on some music that I thought she would like and said we could enjoy the music while she worked on her iPad. She got up and went to the kitchen. In a minute, she had gone outside. I thought that might be a good thing. She hasn’t worked in the yard for more than a week. I think that is mostly because of the weather week before last. Last week, it was the flu.

She was outside for about twenty minutes before coming back inside. She asked if I were ready to go. I told her to give me a minute, and we would go. So here we are back at Panera where we are likely to stay for another 20-30 minutes before we head to Chalupas for dinner. I surely hope she feels better before bedtime tonight.

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We’re on a different schedule today.

Kate slept unusually late this morning. I decided that given the flu, rest would be a good thing. I checked on her just after 11:30. She was still sleeping soundly. That gave me plenty of time to have my breakfast, wash, dry, and fold two loads of clothes, as well as checking the morning email and spending time on my blog.

In addition to rest, I know that she is supposed to get her Tamiflu approximately every 12 hours. That led me to wake her at noon. When I got to the bedroom, I saw that she was already up. I went back to the kitchen which serves as my office. I continued to work on another blog entry on social isolation that I will probably post on Monday while waiting for Kate to get ready.

Kate finally walked into the kitchen about 1:15 not knowing at all what time it was but ready to go. She was a little grumpy. In a cheerful tone of voice, I told her I was so glad to see her, and I wasn’t going to do anything to upset her day. She smiled. I gave her a hug, and she was fine. I had already decided to skip Panera and go straight to lunch at Bluefish. It was 2:00 when we sat down at a table. By this time I was already getting an impression that we were both making steady progress recovering from the flu. Except for having slept so long as well as several times she coughed, Kate seems back to normal. I also feel better but know that I still need another day or to before I am where she is now.

We left the restaurant at 3:05. I knew that Kate would not want to spend the rest of the afternoon at home; so I had brought our iPads and cups planning to go directly to Barnes & Noble. That is where we are now. Before settling down at my iPad, I had one of those experiences that every parent knows about but might not think of in connection with a person with dementia and her caregiver.

I selected a table for the two of us and gave Kate her iPad while I got her a passion fruit tea with lemonade. I returned to the table with her cup. Then I took out my iPad. Before I could start, she asked me where the bathroom was. It is located off the main area; so I don’t feel comfortable letting her go or return on her own. I closed my iPad and carried hers and mine as I led her to the restroom. I waited right outside and brought her back when she had finished.

This kind of shift from one thing to another is not a big deal, but it happens so often that it can be a problem for the caregiver. I should note that sometimes I can predict such things. In fact, this was one of those times. I had thought of asking her about going to the restroom at the restaurant. Then I thought I would wait until we arrived at Barnes & Noble. That plan failed when I forgot to do it. It’s another illustration that as a caregiver, I am frequently making these kinds of mistakes. There is just so much to remember.

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We have the flu.

Since my last post two days ago, both of us tested positive for the flu. Like many others, we had had our flu shots last fall. Each of our doctors has prescribed Tamiflu. Kate has faired better than I. She was getting better before we started the medication. This morning I feel much better than last night when I took my first dose. So far this morning I have not coughed, and my aching feeling is much better. Of course, it is still early in the day, but I have taken my morning medicine. Maybe I’ll see more progress this afternoon. In the meantime, I cancelled the sitter for Kate. That is two times this week, but I feel the priority right now is to conquer the flu. We’re on the way.

I am always worried about illness might affect Kate. I do know that this past Monday, she was showing some signs of confusion. Since then, however, she has been pretty much normal except for the symptoms associated with the flu. I consider that a victory.

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Making Progress on the Health Front

Today I received a call from Kate’s doctor’s office and made an appointment for this afternoon. Ironically, she seemed better today, both in terms of the cough and confusion. She didn’t get up until after 11:00 this morning. I heard a cough or two before she was ready to leave for lunch, but she has coughed minimally the balance of the day. I didn’t notice any drooling.

She had a low-grade temperature (99), but everything else looked normal. The doctor said she doubted that Kate has the flu but went ahead to test her. We have not received the results but should tomorrow. She suggested continuing what I was already doing, giving her Mucinex and keeping her hydrated.

As Kate has improved, my condition moved in the opposite direction. That was not a surprise since I experienced the first symptoms yesterday. If I have what Kate has, I should be making some progress tomorrow.

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Update on Our Health

Kate is no worse today. She slept quite well except for a thirty-minute spell during which she coughed a good bit. I expected her to sleep late, but she was up early enough for us to leave for Panera around 8:00, something that is unusual. I, too, slept well, but when I awoke, I had a better understanding of how Kate must feel. I now have her cold. For me, the first symptom was the collection of phlegm in my throat. I suspect that will be followed by a sore throat. This seems very much like what we had during the holiday season.

The good thing is that Kate has gotten along reasonably well in terms of her cough. We spent all morning at Panera. That, too, is unusual. She usually only lasts an hour, perhaps an hour and a half. What surprised me is that she did not cough much, but when she did, it was loud.

Her behavior has been of greater concern to me. She is always slow when she walks and when she gets up from a seated position. Yesterday she must have cut her speed by half or two-thirds. It took her a very long time to get into and out of the car today. She was also very insecure when going up or down from a curb. At the restaurant where we had lunch, the hostess reached the table before we were even close to it. I signaled to her that she could go. We had to walk down two steps to the dining room. Kate was very hesitant. She almost appeared blind and was using her foot to indicate where to step next.

While we waited for our food, she sat with her eyes closed. She drooled on her top even though she had a napkin to use. I haven’t noticed any significant signs of confusion. She worked jigsaw puzzles on her iPad the whole time we were at Panera without asking for my help. That is different from yesterday. For example, as we got up from the table to leave the restaurant last night, she picked up the pen and folder that had contained our bill and was going to take them with us. When I told her we could leave them on the table, she did, but I am sure she didn’t understand why.

As we were leaving for dinner tonight, I noticed that she was wearing her underwear over her pants. I mention it to her, and she took them off.

I am waiting for a call from the doctor’s office for any advice they have for me. Otherwise, I just plan for us to take it easy and drink plenty of fluids. Kate has been resting for about an hour. That can’t hurt either.

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An Hour Later

After posting this last entry, I told Kate I thought it was time for dinner. She said she wanted to finish her puzzle. Off and on over the past hour, I have asked her how she is doing. She was still not ready. The last time I asked, I told her I hated to stop her because she had gotten so absorbed. During this time she has not been coughing. Nor has she been wiping or drooling saliva to the extent she was when we arrived. She is simply engrossed in her puzzle. I really to hate to interrupt her. I don’t usually see her this intense. Best of all, she appears less tired now. Maybe the cough medicine did affect her and is wearing off.

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Kate is sick again.

Kate got up after 11:00 yesterday. Because of that we went directly to lunch just before 12:30. I noticed she was coughing. It was much the way she coughed when she was sick around Christmas or just before. She coughed a good bit during lunch. That caused me to reflect on whether or not we should attend a theater production of Big Fish at 3:00. On the way home, I stopped by the pharmacy and bought some cough syrup. I gave it to her right away. I built a fire and she looked at the book mentioned in yesterday’s post. Her coughing let up. In addition, it had been raining and had then stopped. I made the decision to go ahead to the theater. Kate did not enjoy it, but she seemed to get along fine in terms of her cough.

After the show, we stopped at a restaurant for dinner. This is when the coughing started again. She was coughing so loudly that I considered taking our meal home but didn’t. I was glad that we were served quickly and were able to leave fairly soon. Every time I asked her to tell me how she was feeling, she said, “Fine.” She also seemed fine except that her coat and top was wet from saliva that had dripped from her mouth. She was wiping some of it but letting much of it run down her chin and on to her top. The top portion of her coat was soaked when we came out of the theater. I assumed she had wiped saliva with her hand and then on the coat, but she may have drooled on the coat. It was in her lap. I gave her another dose of her cough syrup, and she went to bed about 7:30.

This morning she got up around 8:30. The first sound I heard was her coughing. When she was ready for Panera, I noticed that she was not in a cheerful mood. We stayed at Panera until after 11:30. Then we went home to meet the sitter who comes at noon for my Monday Rotary meeting. She seemed a little confused when I explained that I was going to be leaving for my meeting and that she and Anita could stay at the house or go to Panera. When I said Panera, she showed the only excitement I have seen all day. She was confused, however, and thought she and I were going. I told her she and Anita could do that.

Before the sitter left, she asked me if Kate were on any medicine. She had asked because she said Kate had seemed quite confused and was drooling. She also mentioned that Kate had gone back to her room and scattered a bunch of papers on the floor. Although Kate thanked the sitter after I had done so, she didn’t do it with the same enthusiasm that has become normal.

When Anita was gone, Kate and I got our things together and came back to Panera. She moved incredibly slowly getting up and walking to the car as well as from the car to Panera. I had planned to give her another dose of her cough medicine before we left, but I thought maybe that it was causing the confusion. As it has turned out, she hasn’t coughed that much since we arrived. I may not give her any more. I couldn’t tell that it made much difference.

I had thought of our making a trip to Nashville to visit Ellen tomorrow but decided this morning that we should hold off. Tomorrow will give me a chance to communicate with the doctor’s office for some guidance.

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Cataract Surgery? Or Not?

Kate has annual check ups with her ophthalmologist. Several years ago, the doctor mentioned that Kate had a cataract in one of her eyes. We’ve been following it since then, but it had not reached the point at which surgery is recommended. That changed in her most recent visit in December. After a brief discussion, we decided to pursue the surgery in January. Since then, I have had serious doubts as to the advisability of this procedure. Although such surgery is much easier than it used to be, it still requires the use of anesthesia that is reported to have potential negative effects on Alzheimer’s patients. We have a preliminary appointment scheduled with the doctor two days from now. I am considering canceling.

This morning for the first time I posted a question on the Caregivers’ Forum of the Alzheimer’s Association. I pointed out the following things I was considering in an effort to make the wisest decision for Kate.

1. Kate, age 77 in one week, was diagnosed 7 years ago.
2. We have maintained a high quality of life to the present time.
3. She does have some vision problems. She has a cataract in one eye and 20/60 vision in the other.
4. She has trouble recognizing people in person and in photos. I can’t be sure how much is a result of her Alzheimer’s and how much is her vision.
5. She expresses no vision problems, but I observe she is much more careful going up and down stairs or curbs than she used to be, especially at night.
6. I believe she is in the early-to-middle part of Stage 6 of 7 stages of Alzheimer’s.
7. I can’t predict the future, but my guess is that in 6-12 months having had the surgery might not matter.
8. It is possible that the anesthesia alone might effect her in a way that would reduce our quality time together.

The responses I got from my post avoid giving me a specific instruction as to what I should do, but they reinforce my concerns. I just heard from Virginia, Ken’s wife. I had asked for her thoughts. Her reply provides additional weight to my uneasiness in moving forward with the surgery.

When I consider everything, I feel the risks outweigh the gains. I would love to improve her vision but not at the cost of shortening our quality time together. I intend to cancel the surgery. Tomorrow I will contact the ophthalmologist.

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Symptoms/Seeking explanations

In my previous post I noted that Kate’s recent illness might have been caused by eating yogurt that was past its “sell by” date. This morning I noticed something that may be an even more reasonable explanation. Kate had opened the door to the refrigerator in the laundry room to get some yogurt. There were 2 unopened containers of yogurt on one of the shelves. She looked at one and started to pick it up. I suggested that we dispose of that. Then I picked up the other one and told her we should get rid of it as well. That set off a light bulb. It is not uncommon for her to open a container and start eating it before putting it down on the table next to her side of our bed or on a counter in one of the bathrooms. Sometimes she puts it back in the refrigerator’

These things make me wonder if she might not have left some yogurt out for an extended period of time, put it back in the refrigerator, and then ate it later, perhaps the next day. Maybe the yogurt could have spoiled during that time. I don’t suppose I will ever know the answer to this, but I intend to be more observant with respect to her yogurt from now on.