A Special Surprise

Life is full of surprises. I find that is especially true with Kate while “Living with Alzheimer’s”. Even more surprising is that many of the surprises during Stage 7 (the last stage) have been happy ones. One of those occurred yesterday.

I often comment about our “Happy Moments” that occur when she is cheerful. I call them moments because they happen off and on, not all day. Yesterday was special. It began just before 8:00 am when I heard her say something. I went to the bedroom to check on her and found that her eyes were open. As I approached her, she gave me a big smile, clearly recognizing me —something that doesn’t happen most mornings. We chatted briefly before I went to the kitchen to get her morning meds.

After giving her the meds, she was still in a very cheerful mood. I took that opportunity to hop into bed beside her. That began an hour-and-a-half conversation. As always, I understood little of what she said, but it was clear that she was happy. She laughed as she told me whatever was on her mind. It was a great way to begin the day.

She was still happy when I left for my weekly Rotary meeting. Upon returning, she greeted me with a beautiful smile. Later, when we went out for ice cream, she was still cheerful and surprised two residents who come by to see her almost every afternoon. Both of them got to see her smiling and talking. They look for that every day, but it only happens once in a while.

We closed the day with a very special time after the caregiver left at 7:00. She didn’t say much. I did most of the talking. I recounted a number of special times together going back to our dating, marriage, and having children. She continued smiling, and we both drifted off to sleep with music playing in the background.

It was the kind of day we could never have imagined following her diagnosis. We are fortunate and very grateful to enjoy life and each other so late in our journey with Alzheimer’s.

Why Have We Gotten Along So Well?


Why have we gotten along so well?

After Kate’s diagnosis on January 21, 2011, we talked a lot about how we wanted to respond. We decided to simply enjoy life and each other as long as we could. At the time, we were uncertain how long that would be. We just began living in the moment, and that has paid great dividends.

Looking back, I believe there are two major reasons for our success. The first is that we accepted the losses we have encountered (and still encounter) and focus on what remains.

The second reason is that when we chose to “enjoy life and each other,” it led to activities that Kate could appreciate. Progressively, she lost many abilities. We let go of the activities that required those abilities and focused on things she could still enjoy. For almost five years, she has been in the last stage of Alzheimer’s (Stage 7), but we are still able to find ways to enjoy life and each other.

That’s because the things we chose to enjoy have been things like music that she can appreciate intuitively via her senses. We have binged on music since her diagnosis. The other is that we have remained as socially active as possible. I should also add that I have smothered her with affection. She knows she is loved.