Posted on

First Morning in Interlaken

We came back from breakfast. Kate got in the bed and under the covers. She has been there about 20 minutes. I asked if she were ready to go. She said, “In a few more minutes.” She will still have to change clothes to put on something warmer since we are going to Jungfrau. I don’t want to rush her. At the same time, we need to catch a train. Fortunately, there are periodic trains that make the trip.

This is just another indication that traveling will soon be a thing of the past. We have planned a June trip to New York with our daughter and her two boys and our son and his younger son. I wonder how that will go in NYC.  Since this will be a first trip for the grandchildren, there will be many things to do. I suspect she will be up for it. Our next trip after that will be Chautauqua. That should be relaxing.

Posted on

Interlaken

This morning we take the train to Interlaken. I am feeling more like myself this morning. Yesterday afternoon I was down. Though I am not a moody person, I do find that my mood can change depending on what is going on with Kate. I remember the same thing happening with my Dad. When he was having a bad day, it affected me.

As we were returning to the hotel yesterday afternoon, I suggested to Kate that she start packing her suitcase so that we wouldn’t be rushed this morning. She immediately reacted negatively to my suggestion and said, “Or tonight after dinner.” I then said, “But you never want to pack after dinner.” That was something I shouldn’t have said. It reflected a feeling that I was doing everything I could to make the trip go smoothly for her, and she wasn’t willing to do this one thing to help me help her. Even in the midst of this, I know clearly that the Alzheimer’s prevents her from looking at things logically. Nevertheless, I find it frustrating.

Posted on

Geneva

I am feeling much better today than yesterday morning when I felt that I was having to work too hard to make the trip a good one and that it was not paying off. Simply visiting St. Peter’s Cathedral where Calvin was the preacher in the mid-1500s, having a nice lunch in the old town, and then going to Annecy made the day. Kate loved it. We did it leisurely.

At the moment we are taking a break at the room after going to Starbucks for breakfast and stopping by the train station to confirm the schedule to Montreaux tomorrow. Kate needs the breaks. This is not something that has occurred just here but also in the U.S.

While I feel good now, the trip has confirmed my opinion that we can’t do this again. I’m not even sure that a cruise would work though I am not ready to rule it out. I will first have to see how the summer trips to NYC and Chautauqua go as well as the Christmas trip to Texas.

Posted on

Travel Issues

Yesterday Kate and I drove to Nashville to attend a performance of Tirandot at the Schermerhorn Symphony Center. As always, I was concerned that Kate would not remember to bring things she likes or needs. Such was the case. As she was packing in a rush, she couldn’t find the shoes she wanted to wear last night. I found a pair of black boots that she said would work. It turned out, however, that they are too tight; so walking was a problem. Fortunately, we didn’t have far to go, just across the street.

After the opera, she discovered she hadn’t brought anything to sleep in. She asked if I had something. I gave her the dress shirt I had worn to the opera. Interestingly, she brought several pair of hose. She wore 3 pair to the opera to protect her from the cold. We were outside for only a short time; so she was a little warmer than she likes.

We opted for the breakfast buffet this morning. This offered another example of the difficulty she has getting her eyes to focus on the various items she is looking for. For example, she stood in front of the bowls beside an assortment of fruit (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and apricots) as well as yogurt. She noticed the fruit and then walked down the buffet looking for a bowl even though they had been right in front of her. She didn’t notice the bowls, but she said she remembered having been here before even though this was our first time at this hotel. Another case of Deja Vu.

Last night at the opera, she asked me to take her gloves because she couldn’t get them in the pocket of her jacket. Now that I think of it, I must have dropped them below my seat because I don’t see them. It is obvious that I don’t do a great job of keeping up with her things. I am finding it challenging to keep up with her things as well as my own.

As soon as we came back to the room after breakfast, she got right in the bed with the covers over her. Over the past year or two this has become a pattern. In a few minutes I will get her up to meet an old TCU friend for lunch.

Posted on

Reflecting on Christmas in Memphis

We got home from Memphis late yesterday afternoon. We had a great time with Jesse and her family. Kate had an especially good time. She enjoys being with Jesse and her family as well as their neighbors, Jeff and Sally, across the street. As she usually does, Kate handled herself well at the reception. She introduced herself to people and had conversations with them. On Christmas afternoon, Jeff and Sally came over before we had Christmas dinner. They were there about 30-40 minutes. Kate and Sally were in their own conversation the entire time.

Kate continues to speak a lot about her family. She also is very expressive about how much she enjoys things (food and people). Yesterday morning I asked Jesse if she had noticed anything different about her mother since they were last together. She said she didn’t though she said she noticed Kate seems more expressive about things. I told her that confirmed what I had heard from Kevin at Thanksgiving. I reiterated to her what I have said here and to others. The good thing about this illness is that she is able to get along so well in social interaction with other people. There are only little things that someone who is close to her might notice. For example, Jesse and I both noticed that when she was speaking to Kevin’s children on Christmas evening, she was thinking that Christmas would be the next day. She asked at least one of them if he was excited about tomorrow and getting presents though that had already occurred that morning.

When we were in Fort Worth for Thanksgiving, she received a directory for her high’ school class. She has misplaced it and has wanted to send email Christmas messages to a number of her friends. She asked me about it several times during the week preceding our trip. At least one of those times she thought I had it. Once she asked me was immediately before the trip. She asked me a couple of times during the trip. She may have asked me about it last night. I know she asked me about it a few minutes ago. Again, she thought I had it. I told her that it was misplaced a couple of weeks ago and that she had said she was going to contact a Waco friend about getting another one. Even though I am quite aware of her forgetfulness, it is surprising to me that she would so easily forget something as important as this directory and after so many times that she has mentioned it to me, and I have told her it is misplaced. I am confident it is here in the house because I can’t imagine her taking it out with her.

One of the days we were in Memphis I got on the Alzheimer’s website and reviewed some of the entries on the caregiver/spouse forum. I found this quite depressing and don’t intend to go back until Kate’s condition has progressed much further than it has so far. I was reading all the horror stories involving bathroom habits, changing bed clothes, etc. It was too depressing.

It did give me two impressions, however. First, Kate is not nearly as far down the path of Alzheimer’s as others. Second, it reminds me what I may face with time. That sensitized my observations about her increasing memory failure. That made me wonder just how much time remains that we can enjoy ourselves. We are truly enjoying ourselves even with the memory issues. When she is no longer able to enjoy social activities or people and can’t remember friends, I will have more of a problem.

Posted on

Leaving for Memphis

Last night Kate asked me what time we were leaving for Memphis. I told her 10:00 although I was really shooting for 10:30. This morning she asked again. (I had not expected her to remember from last night.) We had awakened early (5:00 am). I told her 10:00. But that we could leave earlier if were ready. Around 8:00 she was on her iPad in bed and asked me what time we were leaving. I told her 10:00. She got up and started to get ready. At 9:00 she told me if she were not ready when I was ready, I could just wait. That is what I have been doing since. Just before 10:30 I went to the back of the house where she was putting up some clothes. She asked what I wanted. I told her I was just checking and wondered if she had a progress report. She asked me what time we were leaving. I told her we were going to leave 30 minutes ago. Then she panicked and said, “Why didn’t you tell me?” I told her that I did. She insisted that I hadn’t. I told her I was sorry. She has been scrambling ever since though it looks like she could be ready any minute.

She just called to me. She wanted to know where her boots were. I told her the last I had seen they were on the bed in the bedroom.

Posted on

So How Are Things Going?

It is hard to believe that it has been a full month since I have updated this journal. I see that on Nov. 10 I started an entry but never finished it. I will do better this time.

Kate and I got back this past Friday (Nov. 28) from a trip to Texas. We flew into San Angelo and stayed a night with her brother,  Ken, and his wife, Virginia. The next day we drove to Fort Worth where we stayed two nights in the former home of one of her aunts and uncles. It is now called the Franklin House B&B. I had arranged this sometime ago and not told Kate. I wanted it to be a surprise. She loved being there as did Ken and his wife.

We met Naomi Richardson for lunch at Sadie’s Cafe. On Friday night we went  to Kate’s cousin’s house for barbeque. On Saturday we met Kevin and his family at Nate’s BBQ.  That evening we went to the TCU/Texas A&M football game in the new stadium. Although it rained, we had a good time.

On Sunday we drove to Lubbock where we stayed at the Residence Inn near Kevin’s house. We had a Mexican meal that night. On Tuesday we went to Rachel’s parents house. We then drove to a small town near Midland for lunch. That made for a nice day. We celebrated Thanksgiving at Ken and Rachel’s. Then we drove back to San Angelo on Friday where we caught our flight home.

There has been nothing of great import that has taken place since my last entry. Kate has had another appointment with her doctor. There was nothing to report on our end or on the doctor’s end. I would say that she continues to display some of the common symptoms that have happened pretty regularly over a long period of time. Our (my) biggest problem continues to be getting ready to go places. I may get a good taste of this as we prepare ourselves for several Christmas receptions, one of which is tomorrow night.

I would say that she has been somewhat more assertive about doing some things for herself. For example, I offered to help her with packing for our trip. She would have no part of it. As has happened on several trips in the past, she did not take enough underwear. One morning we had to go to Target for a bra. Another morning I went to Target for panties. One day, she put on a pair of my jeans. I never said anything. It gave her another change, they fit, and no harm was done. I don’t think she ever realized she had done this.

The first morning we were in San Antonio, she was looking for a bra and tossed clothes all over the bed. I volunteered to help and started putting clothes in drawers and the closet under the assumption if we got some things out of the way, it would be easier to spot her bra. I noticed that she took everything out of the drawers and put them in her suitcase. It turned out that she thought we were going home. The fact that it wasn’t even Thanksgiving did not strike her at all. One day during the week in San Antonio, she told Kevin about our staying at the Franklin House. She hadn’t recalled that we had taken him and his family through the house on Saturday.

She really enjoyed seeing people, especially her high school friends. She seems to be unusually enthusiastic and talkative when she gets together with people. I need to work harder on seeing that she gets more opportunities. We are together so much that we don’t talk that much. She is also getting a little stir crazy being in the house so much. Because of the cooler weather, she is not working in the yard nearly as much. That doesn’t’ leave her many things to do for stimulation.

We laugh a lot. She is much more prone to let me know about things I don’t do. Today, for example, I mentioned that I had not checked phone messages on our home line since our return. She wanted to know why I had not done it. Some of the things I consider to be cute. This week we had lunch at Panera. Each of us got, as usual, 2 napkins with our meal. Not noticing that she had two napkins, she reached over and took one of mine. It was only when I pointed out that she had taken my napkin that she realized she had napkins too.

On Friday morning in San Angelo she asked me if we were going home tomorrow. I told her we were going home “today.” She was ecstatic. Periodically through the trip home she expressed her eagerness to be home. Upon getting home and through the next day she continued to express her pleasure in being home.

In sum, we are doing well. I see no signs of depression on her part or mine. I do, however, recognize that she does not like being dependent on me to drive her everywhere. Today she also asked if I would build a fire for her to enjoy while I attended a meeting. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable doing so. She accepted that.

Posted on

Lost While Traveling

Kate and I are in New York City with our granddaughter, Heather. We are having a great time, but I am finding it challenging to keep up with Kate.  I’ve had several scares on the trip.

The first one occurred in the Charlotte airport. Our gate was on a small concourse (12-14 gates). Kate wanted to walk while we waited for plane. Heather and I stayed behind. In about 15-20 minutes, the gate attendant announced that we would start boarding in 10 minutes. We couldn’t see Kate. anywhere. Twice I walked the entire concourse. Then I went to the central terminal and didn’t see her. I returned to the gate to see about paging her. They would only page outside. Finally, she came strolling toward our gate. She had simply walked to someplace outside our concourse and had no sense of time. She said she never felt lost.

The next time was a minor incident at the Empire State Building. Heather and I were on the down escalator when I looked back to see Kate was not with us. I ran up the escalator and found her. She had not seen us get on. She was having the same emotional reaction as we were. Fortunately, this was just a moment.

The last incident as we neared the end of a tour of Rockefeller Center. We lost her when the group went inside, and she didn’t follow. The big problem was that we didn’t miss her for another 15 minutes when the tour ended. I received a telephone call from a Missouri number. The tour was just ending, and I didn’t answer because I thought it was a wrong number. Then I saw that I had a message and called the number. It was Kate. She had borrowed a phone and said that she was at the statue of Prometheus. She had been helped by an employee.  I tried to keep my cool but was in quite a panic. The good thing is that she can still remember my phone number and didn’t hesitate to ask someone about using his phone.

Posted on

Visit to Dr. Reasoner

Kate’s visit to Dr. Reasoner was uneventful last week. I was called in at one point to provide some information about a new prescription (Prempro) for which we were having to get prior authorization. It has now been a month since the doctor prescribed it. I got an email yesterday that it is ready. This is to deal with Kate’s hot flashes.

We are in our third day with Ken and Virginia in Ann Arbor. The visit is going well though Kate has expressed a desire to be home. Last night she was worried that Virginia might be ready for us to leave. I think his was a misunderstanding. It was actually Ken who asked when we were leaving – as a simple question. She translated it as Virginia’s asking interpreted it as being ready for us to go.

I have had two good conversations with Ken. We have exchanged info on Kate’s situation and how she has changed since we last were together at Christmas. He has been open about his own situation and the frustrations he has and that Virginia has. I told him that Kate is more irritable, especially with me, that in general she is more emotional, that her short-term memory is worse, that I notice a decline in the long-term memory as well, that she is frightened by sudden noises, and that she is suffering occasional panic attacks when getting ready to go places.

Posted on

Coming Home

As the previous post indicated, we had a great time in Chicago. Kate, in particular, enjoyed being with Brian and especially enjoyed my interaction with him. I don’t think there was anything noteworthy about that interaction. I look at her reaction as another indication of how impressed she is with the things that other people do quite normally that for her are becoming difficult. She thinks many of the people she is around are very intelligent and skilled in many areas. She believes Brian is quite observant because he notices things that she doesn’t notice. One of the things she is losing is the ability to notice things around her. She misses so much; however, that doesn’t keep her from enjoying travel and doing things like attending shows and movies. She also felt that I did a good job of explaining things to Brian. I was, indeed, attempting to teach him things without being too pedantic. For Kate, this was something she can’t envision herself doing. In fact, when she tries to explain things to the grandchildren or anybody else, I can tell that she works very hard to make a clear expression of her thoughts. It is getting harder and harder to express herself.

Lest I paint too glowing an impression of the way that I handle things, especially with Kate, I should point out that Kate told me yesterday that I said something that I should not have said and that there was no reason to say that. After she said she didn’t know something, I had told her that I had told her the day before. That is like saying, “Do you remember . . .?” That is also something she has asked me not to say. Something else occurred today, but it was not a big issue. When she was looking for her computer, I told her that I had taken it to the shop for servicing before we left for Chicago. As it turns out, I had told her, but she had forgotten which is not surprising since that was a week ago yesterday. I did not tell her I had told her before, but I did say that I was sorry to have caused her some distress. She said she wasn’t distressed, she just wanted to know where her computer was and that I should have told her (which I had but didn’t want to say so).

The final thing that I believe is important to say about our trip home is that she was very eager to be back home. She repeatedly expressed how much she wanted to be home. When we finally arrived at the airport, she had a hard time moving quickly off the plane. She was just whipped and emotionally drained.