Two weeks ago, I got a call from Marvin Green. Kate and I met him and his wife, Angela, ten or fifteen years ago when they joined our church after his retirement as a Methodist minister. Their daughter and her husband, both Methodist pastors, married our daughter and her husband 27 years ago. Marvin served as my backup Sunday school teacher when I was out of town and also led my dad’s memorial service. We have gotten together with them periodically for lunch or dinner since Kate’s diagnosis. It had been a while, and he was calling to see about our getting together. We did that night before last at Bonefish Grill.
We have always enjoyed socializing with them. This time was no exception. We were in such active conversation that we never got around to what I had been most interested in hearing about. They recently returned from a trip to Ireland during which they hiked from one town to the next during the day and spent the night in B&Bs. I guess that provides a good excuse for getting together again soon.
While Kate was not an active participant in our conversations, she got along well. I suspect Angela and Marvin didn’t notice much, if any difference, since the last time we were together several months ago. In addition to our own conversation, we saw two church members who were leaving shortly after we came in.
Toward the end of our meal a woman approached me, and said, “I know you, but I can’t recall from where?” I’m not sure what prompted me except that she is a very humorous and talkative woman, and I answered, “I was your first husband.” That led to an extended conversation. I told her our real connection was at Casa Bella on one of their music nights. Every time she speaks to me, she asks me to guess how old she is. I always guess around 70. She is actually 87 but turning 88 today. She is also the daughter of a man who had operated a clothing store that was well-known by folks who grew up in the city. It made for a fun way to end our evening.
I mention this because experiences like this do a lot for both Kate and me. As I have noted elsewhere, eating out has been valuable in preventing any feelings of isolation, something that often accompanies couple who travel this same road. It is even more than that. The experience of eating out with friends adds an extra measure of pleasure to our lives, and we are especially grateful for those occasions.
Our dinner with the Greens came a few days after the Robinsons visited us for lunch on Saturday. Since our relationship extends back to our undergraduate days at TCU, maintaining that connection is especially important. There are only a handful of couples we can say that about. As the years go by, the value of these friendships becomes increases. That is especially true for a couple living with Alzheimer’s.
