Our Visit with Ellen

On our way home from Memphis, Kate and I stopped by for a visit with Ellen in Nashville. We continue to try to visit about once a month. This was the first time that she has been in bed when we arrived. She was surprised, but pleased, to see us. We always check with her daughter before each visit to make sure it is convenient. I am sure that her daughter told her. I find that I am always interpreting Kate’s behavior in light of her AD. I am probably doing the same with Ellen. Knowing that she is in a memory care unit, it seems like her forgetting is a pretty good bet. The only reason I make note of this event is that she has always seemed so sharp in the past.

When she got up, we found her quite talkative, a trait that has always been characteristic of her. The only complication now is her speech. I don’t think we could detect any change in that since last time. We could still only understand about 25% of what she says. Despite the speech problem which does make conversation a challenge, we stayed longer than on any previous visit, almost two and a half hours.

This time we stayed with her while she ate her dinner in the dining room. We didn’t intend to stay through her dinner, but she seemed like she didn’t want us to leave. At one point, when we said we needed to leave, she was ready to leave her dinner. We decided to stay a little longer for her to finish.

I have always been curious to see if Kate’s visit to the memory unit would have any impact on her. So far as I can tell, she hasn’t seemed to notice. I have been concerned that since most of the residents are rather non-communicative, it might make Kate think about her being in this same condition sometime in the future. I just don’t see any reaction. In fact, as we were leaving yesterday, she spoke to a resident sitting at the table next to us. She told the resident her name was Kate. As it turned out, the resident’s name is also Kate and she just beamed at the coincidence.

After leaving Ellen, we dropped by a local pizza place I had heard about. Then we headed back home. The trip home had been a smooth one. Kate was tired and very quickly got ready for bed. I have noticed that she has been tired after our previous trips, so it is not surprising to discover that she is still in bed this morning. That is quite a contrast to the past week or so when she has been getting up early enough for us to be at Panera by 8:30 or shortly thereafter.

Kate got along well on the trip, but being in different places is confusing for her. Several times while we were in Memphis and in Nashville she asked me, “Where are we?”

On the other hand, I am very happy that she still is able to handle herself well in social situations. She is quiet after a while. It is hard for her to follow conversations and to interject her own comments. Sometimes when she jumps in, she says something that is not related to what we are talking about. But she displays the poise she has always had when meeting people. I hope she retains that ability for a long time.