Flexibility Required

2017-10-21 (5:39 pm)

We’ve had a nice day. We made another visit to Sadie’s café for a cranberry scone and a large slice of pound cake, one of my favorites. We were there for about an hour before coming back to the hotel for another hour. As we were leaving the hotel room, Kate said, “Haywood Park.” I knew she was trying to show me that she recalled the name of our hotel. Of course, it was wrong again. I didn’t say anything, but the look on my face must have given away my thoughts. She said, “That’s not right?” I shook my head and told her it was the Hilton. She accepted it without a problem.

We met our son, his wife, their son as well as Kate’s brother, Ken and his wife, Virginia, at our favorite BBQ place for lunch. It was good to see each of them. We had seen our son in September, but it had been June since we had seen the others. It was especially nice to see our grandson who is now a freshman at TCU.

At lunch, we learned that the powers that be had decided to “stripe” the stadium by having people in certain sections wear black shirts while others wore gold, the University’s school colors. The section in which we were to sit was asked to wear black, and we didn’t have black shirts. To rectify this, we stopped by a shop and bought black golf shirts with the WF embroidered in gold on the front.

We got back to the hotel where Kate wanted to rest. It wasn’t too long before she wanted to get out of the room. This, as I may have said before, is not unusual. I suggested we go to Panera where we are planning to meet Ken and Virginia in the morning. Just before 5:00, I suggested we go back to the hotel before leaving for the football game at 5:30 or shortly thereafter.

When we got back to the hotel, we discovered that all the parking spaces were occupied. We ended up parking on the street about a block from the hotel. As we did this, I noticed a lineup of buses with TCU colors. It appeared that they were going to the stadium. I thought this was fortuitous as I didn’t really want to drive the car to the stadium and fight the traffic. I checked and learned that it is a free shuttle service to and back from the stadium.

Then we walked back to the room where Kate had wanted to rest before leaving for the stadium. We hadn’t taken but a few steps when she said, “Do we have to go to the game?” I hesitated a moment and said we didn’t have to go but that I had wanted to go. We tossed this around a few minutes, and I decided it was better not to push her even though she had said she would go. We came back to the room where I sent a text to our son and his wife informing them of our decision. Then I took our tickets to the front desk of the hotel and asked the man behind the desk if he knew someone who might like the tickets. He did.

The truth is that I didn’t have my heart set on the game at all. I did believe it would have been nice to be with our son and his wife for the game. It was that experience and not the game itself that was important to me. I also have to confess that I’m the kind of person who makes plans and then follows through on them. Thus, it requires a good bit of adaptability to decide not to go to a game for which we bought tickets a couple of months ago, bought shirts for a few hours ago, and came back from Panera to get ready to go to the game an hour ago. On the other hand, it illustrates two things I believe are relevant. The first is that living with Alzheimer’s involves lot of changes in plans. Second, it illustrates the importance of adaptability. If I were less adaptable, I would be miserable. As it is, I am disappointed, but I understand the need for the change. I feel for people who have more difficulty making this kind of change.