More Signs of Decline

It’s too early to be sure, but it appears to me that Kate is going through one of those sharp declines I have heard other people talk about. I just hope this does not signal something more drastic than what I have observed this week.

Tonight we had dinner at Naples, a local Italian at which we eat once a week. I order chicken Parmesan for Kate one week and lasagna the next. Tonight it was the Parmesan. Right after we got in the car, she said, “They make a good pizza.” We’ve only ordered a pizza there one other time, and that was the first or second time we ate there about two years ago.

Before coming back to our bedroom this evening, Kate called from the kitchen. She wanted to know how to turn off the kitchen light over the island. This is the primary switch we use all the time. When I showed her the switch, she said, “I thought it was there; just didn’t know which switch.” In fairness, there are at least 6 switches, but this is the first time I have ever known of her confusion.

As usual, I feel sad for her and anxious for myself. I know that she doesn’t show any signs of frustration, but I still feel sad to see her losing so much of her ability to do everyday things. I feel anxiety thinking about how I will adjust to the future. I know I will adapt, but I fear the future right now.