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Thinking About the Future

Since Kate’s diagnosis 6 years and 4 months ago, I have contemplated the future and what life would be like. At that point, I never imagined that we would be able to do and enjoy life so much. Today I am beginning to see more clearly that time when we won’t be able to do so much. In fact, that time is really upon us.

The first time I can recollect feeling that way was on our Caribbean cruise in January 2016. I had signed up for that cruise as a test to see how Kate would do before committing to a longer Mediterranean cruise in May of that year. I discovered that Kate did not seem to enjoy the cruise. As I recall, she didn’t attend but one night of the entertainment after dinner. That is something she has always enjoyed in the past. I think she also found it challenging to be with different people at dinner each night. Fortunately, she continued to get along well once we were home. I cancelled the Mediterranean cruise reservations.

Over the past six months or so, I have noticed, and expressed in this journal, that she seems to be getting less pleasure from movies than she did in the past. There have been notable exceptions. For example, she loved Hidden Figures that was about the team of African American women mathematicians working in the US space program. More recently, she has been getting less out of other types of performances. I was really disappointed when we had to walk out of Der Rosenkavalier starring Rene Fleming this past Saturday and another local theater performance a day later.

We are in Asheville to celebrate our 54th anniversary. I have kept our schedule to a minimum. We’ve only had tickets to one event each of the three days we are here. As I mentioned earlier, we ended up not attending a concert yesterday. It turns out that we have spent our time mostly in the hotel and eating several nice meals. Even that has been rewarding for me. I think it is clearly less rewarding for Kate. I have the feeling that she would be happier at home where she could work in the yard in addition to her iPad.

At this moment, she seems contented. About 15 minutes ago, she was getting tired of sitting in the lobby after breakfast working on her iPad. I asked if she would like to go back to the room. She said she would. As we approached the room, we saw that the maids were about to go in and clean up. We told them to go ahead. We came back to the lobby where we are sitting on a sofa. It is rather comfortable. We have reservations for lunch at 11:30. Following lunch, we are attending a chamber concert. Then we will come back to the hotel to pass more time before dinner this evening at a restaurant that is very near the hotel.

We leave for home in the morning. I would like to have lunch first and then go home. We’ll see what happens. It probably depends on how early Kate is up as well as how eager she is to be home. The last time we were here (September), we ended up going home after breakfast and eating lunch in Knoxville. I suspect that is what we will do this time.

We leave for Texas on Saturday. I hope that the travel this week does not cause added confusion while we are there.

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Trying Movies at Home

I started the movie, Dreamer, about 35 minutes ago. We were watching, and I thought enjoying it when she said, “I’ll be right back.” I took the opportunity to get ready to take a shower. I looked outside, and she had gone out there. She went out to look for the night guard she lost.

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Ups and Downs

Kate was down all through lunch. When we came home she immediately lay down in bed. I spent some time on email.

Prior to lunch I had looked for a movie and saw that The Flick was showing Seven Brides for Seven Brothers at 3:00. Kate said she would like to go. It seemed like it would be a good one for her. She loved it. When we were in the car on the way home, she said the movie had really lifted her spirits. It is a rather hokey 1950s movie. I enjoyed it as well from an historical standpoint. I was just pleased that it brought her out of her depression.

We had a couple of memory issues. We saw in the credits that Howard Keel and Jane Powell had starred in the movie. We commented that they were the only people we knew. In fact, Kate had said that the female lead looked like Jane Powell. As we were driving home, she was reading a brochure with information about the movie. She read that Jane Powell was in the movie. When I mentioned its being in the credits, she asked me what part she played. She had completely forgotten in that short time. Another incident occurred that has been common for most or all of the past 3-4 years. We past a pizzeria that I had not known before. When I pointed it out, she said, “Oh, I remember our passing that on the way to the movie.” We had not come that way going to the movie. She commonly says I have told her things that I haven’t told her.

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She surprises me sometimes.

All of the entries I give point to the many things that are symptoms of Kate’s Alzheimer’s. This is unfair in painting the whole picture. In many ways she is herself. Once in a while she really surprises me. That happened this morning when I saw her rinsing out a yogurt container. This is something about which she has been sloppy. It’s not that she doesn’t do it; it is that she does it but leaves traces of yogurt which concern me because we attract insects inside and have the potential for doing the same in the recycling bin outside in the garage. I was made especially sensitive about that recently when I saw a swarm of gnat-like insects around the recycling. We are also getting gnats in the kitchen.

I don’t know that I paid special attention to see that she had sufficiently rinsed the yogurt container, but when she had finished, she said, “I saw you watching me to see if I rinsed the yogurt container.” I have never said the first word to her about my doing this, but I have watched in the past, and I also come behind her and re-rinse the containers she has already rinsed. She has obviously picked up on this.

We are enjoying an unusual Sunday morning at home today. She told me last night that she was thinking of not going to church today. She re-confirmed that this morning. I decided to follow suit as there was no regular Sunday school this morning.

We have been active the past few days. Friday night we went to a play at the Bijou. They performed Young Frankenstein by Mel Brooks. It was a wild comedy. It was not exactly our kind of thing, but we do share a love for theater. We will continue to attend as many theater performances as we can. I am optimistic that we will have a couple of more years to enjoy them.

Yesterday afternoon we went to lunch at a small café on Millwood and then drove to The Flick planning to see Belle. It turns out they were sold out for the 2:30 movie; so we bought tickets for the 5:00 show. We came back home in the interim where I solved a syncing problem involving my iPad and computer. We went back to the show and enjoyed it. It was the best movie we have seen in quite a while. Since we were so close to Casa Bella, we went there for dinner following the movie.

I hope our activity is something that would be encouraging to anyone else in our situation. We have had almost 3 ½ good years since Kate’s diagnosis, and we continue to enjoy life. We’re going to keep it up as long as we can.